In middle school, having a boyfriend was the only thing that was important. You’re in your awkward phase and just need someone to tell you you’re pretty. You’re still forming friendships and you need someone who is a constant. Your favorite emo songs sing about heartbreak and falling in love and you want to be able to relate. The books you read end with happiness and holding hands and you want to hold hands too. The reality shows on television show so much drama, but love always prevails and you want to prevail, too.
We never grow out of that middle school self.
We still need to be told we’re pretty, friends still come and go, we sing the songs at pregames, read the books on casual evenings, and watch the reality tv on hungover afternoons.
We saw it as a problem solver – being in a relationship guarantees that someone will be there for you at all times no matter what. It’s hard to rely on anyone else, that’s what having a boyfriend or girlfriend is for.
As more problems occur in your adult life, you become more and more convinced that not having anyone to love you is the number one problem. Failing your classes because you have no one to study with. Not getting a job because you have no one to push you. Getting too drunk because you had no one to stay in with.
It all connects to not having a person.
If you think a relationship will fix your problems, you’re very off base. Sure, it will soften some of the blows that life throws at you, but a relationship is just a temporary fix.
Find friends that will stay by your side. Mend relations with your family so you can always fall back on them. Most importantly, be able to rely on yourself. Push yourself and monitor yourself – because despite what you may think, no one will ever know you as well as you know yourself. Be your own driving force.
Rosie Culture 
I love this and have started to notice how I’m using a lack of a person as an excuse for some of my failures like following my dreams etc. you have a lovely written voice an I will thoroughly enjoy binge reading 🙂
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Thank you so much!
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I’ve dated two people who I think in retrospect I only dated to fix other problems. It worked temporarily, but ultimately didn’t make me any happier.
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I think everyone has to make this mistake before we realize that temporary fixes are not the way to go!
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Absolutely precise. Love this and thanks for sharing
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I completely agree! Great reflections!
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I don’t think I had this middle school fixation. I think I told you this before, but I picked an all girl’s school just to get away from boys.
I was a bit of a tom boy growing up so most of my friends were guys. By teen years, I filled out with a very feminine figure: full breasts, small waist, shapely hips. That made things really awkward with my boys. They started to profess undying love and the whole nine yards. Couldn’t stand it!
I didn’t have any interest in dating until college. That said, I started college at 16 but had no interest in physical intimacy, so that didn’t go over well with guys. 😅 I think I had my first boyfriend at 18, in the final semester of my associates degree.
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So relatable🙌🏻
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