Finding Your Way Back To Happiness

Happiness is a funny thing because you don’t really know you have it until it’s gone. And you don’t really notice it missing right away. You slowly slip into this funk that you think will fade until you wake up one day and realize you’ve been indifferent about life for over a year.

Then when you find it again, it’s  like waking up on the right side of the bed finally. Like you got the sleep out of your eyes and are ready to take on the world.

But if you’re not careful, you’ll start to slip again. It happens to everyone, we can’t all be happy 100% of the time. And it’s gradual again, you don’t even know the happiness is gone until you look in the mirror one day and hate everything about yourself. It’s like getting into bed and realizing you never want to get out and face the world.

So how do you find your way back?

You’ve been there before, you just need to retrace your steps. It’s the effort to do so that will really set you back. I was sad for years, it took so much work to feel good again…why can’t I just lay in bed?

And you can’t half-ass it at all. Great, you’ve got one thing going in the right direction. But that one thing can’t pull you all the way up. You have to try harder, you have to force yourself to the happiness you’re craving, but just can’t seem to find the energy to grasp.

Finding happiness isn’t easy just as slipping into sadness wasn’t easy. Sure, it may feel like it’s so much easier to fall down than get up. But think about the things that got you to sad, they are far less fun than the things that get you to happy.

Retrace your steps and put in the work, happiness is just around the corner.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/bennyseidelman/

Why Be Anything But Nice?

I will be the first to admit that most of my life was spent not  being a nice person. I think I tried to be a good person when I was young, but was quickly walked all over in middle school and high school. So I tried being bitchy and it seemed to work better for me.

It kept people out of my life and at arm’s length, it kept me safe and protected, but it was a lot of effort. It was hard to consistently be meanish to people, not because I was denying my nature to be nice, but because you have to be tough all the time and keep up this image that shows people that you don’t want to be bothered. It was like a game, you can’t catch me because I’m dark and edgy and I don’t like you.

Right after I graduated college, I just realized it’s easier to be nice to everyone. You can still keep them at arm’s length, but in a way that you could reach out if you needed to. Back when I wasn’t nice at first glance, people were always disappointed when the can’t catch me girl was caught and wasn’t as dangerous as they thought. I felt like I was never living up to anything and was just over the trend of people not liking me. Who wants to be disliked? Why was I ever that way?

I watched this video on Facebook the other day about a woman who was fat shamed at a Dairy Queen. It absolutely killed me.

I have been working very hard to help build up the people in this world who have been torn down by media, society, and just the pressures of being human. Because I feel all of those things too and I need someone to build me up too.  Everyone is fabulous in their own way. I used to get jealous and spiteful when a girl looked better than me, now I’m like damnnnn girl, rock it! If you look hot, I’m going to tell you that you look hot even if I don’t know you.

Because why not? Being mean wasn’t easy, it bogged me down. I think we need to stop striving to be this elusive boss ass bitch and just be nice. You can still be powerful and kind.

hc
Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/ivanatm/

The Hookup On: My Spring Bucket List!

It’s FINALLY spring. I don’t want to see any more snow, just sunshine. I completed basically everything on my winter bucket list, so I’m aiming high for spring!

  1. Visit 3 out of state/country locations
  2. Go to a NYCFC soccer game
  3. Visit wolf preserve
  4. Hit over 7,000 Instagram followers
  5. Go blonder
  6. Completely furnish my apartment
  7. Make more time for friends
  8. Learn to knit baby booties
  9. Turn 24
  10. Go to the gym at least 3 times a week
  11. Host a game night
  12. Treat myself to the list of lush items and clothing items I’ve been wanting
  13. Stop eating donuts every week
  14. Hit over 2,000 WordPress followers
  15. Feel healthier overall
  16. Go hiking in 3 different locations
  17. Be my best self
  18. Read 5 books

What’s on your list for Spring?

You NEED To Be Selfish

It was when I had gotten screwed over in a relationship for the I-don’t-know-how-many-th time that I finally decided to make a change. Whether it was a different guy hurting me or hurting myself by going back to the same guy over and over again, at the end of the day I was hurting.

And that’s when I stopped caring about being selfish.

How many times can someone tell you they’re not going to do something again, then do it again? How many times will you believe them?

You so often care about other people’s feelings, but forget about yourself. And how is that even possible? To forget about the feelings of the actual entity that you are. It seems impossible, but we often allow ourselves to get hurt to save others.

It’s time to save yourself.

Being sad, being broken, being mistreated really isn’t just another part of life. It isn’t something you have to accept. You don’t have to accept anything other than what makes you happy. But we accept the sad, broken, mistreatment because we aren’t thinking of ourselves the way we should be.

Go out and get your happiness. Stomp a few hearts on the way, cut off some friendships, delete the phone numbers and unfollow them on Twitter. If they’re not helping you get where you need to go, they are unnecessary. If you’re being held back, it’s time to start being selfish.

It’s rough, it’s not always the nicest thing to do to the people you love. But how do you expect to take care of them when you can’t take care of yourself? A little selfishness goes a long way.

hc
Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/maximilianmann/

The Hookup On: Trying Out Spritzr

This is a sponsored post. All opinions are mine.

I’ve often found that people refer to dating apps as a game, but most of the apps out there right now are not actually a game.

I came across Spritzr, a match making app, that has more fun and game like qualities than any other app out there right now. If you’re swiping through boring apps and looking for a little more fun, Spritzr is the place for you! Check it out here: https://spritzr.com/

Whether you are single or in a relationship, Spritzr allows anyone to play matchmaker. I especially like this because:

  1. My single friends are always looking to be set up.
  2. I’m missing out on all the dating app fun now that I’m in a relationship!

You can play matchmaker for your friends and help them discover what they have in common. Your friends probably know you better than you know yourself, so why not let them give it a try?

If your friends aren’t on the app, you can match community members without knowing them. You see a main user profile and several secondary ones that Spritzr suggests. If you believe any of those are a good match just drag and drop it onto the main user profile.

This is a game that even has rewards! You can make 10 matches daily and even be rewarded when a good match is done.

These dates are recommended by real people, not just random swiping through people nearby or calculated algorithms that don’t really seem to work. I was a big user of dating apps when I was single and Spritzr seems a lot more fun and a lot more friendly.

Download the app here:

Itunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/spritzr-best-matchmaking-app/id947628787

Google: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.spritzr

Ready to try? Give me a comment below if you’re thinking of downloading the app!

hc

 

How I Finally Got The Dating Thing Right

I felt like I was single forever after my last long term relationship. I had made the choice to stay single, mostly because I was so aware of how I was kissing frogs that definitely weren’t going to turn into princes any time soon.

Every time I tried to date, I just couldn’t get comfortable. Reaching out to people I had lost touch with to spark something felt awkward. Meeting people for the first time and getting to know their whole life story felt like a lot of work. The whole thing was so exhausting.

It was so much easier to get what I want and then get out. Just scratch the surface a tiny bit until it’s time to leave. Because every time I tried to go deeper, I felt anxious and out of sorts. I just thought being in a committed relationship wasn’t for me.

What I didn’t realize at the time was where that anxiety was coming from. It wasn’t because dating was awkward or because it took a lot of work. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to get to know someone or love someone. It was because the people I was dating didn’t match me. My weird didn’t fit their weird.

Being your own kind of weird is when you are your complete self. You let that weird out when you’re with your best friends, goofing around with your siblings, when you really get to know someone. But not everyone’s weird matches yours and that becomes very apparent when you are dating.

I tried to force things that didn’t fit because everyone was telling me I was being too picky and I was telling myself that these things weren’t working out because I was the problem.

There is no magic answer to finding the person you’re supposed to be with. The only thing I can tell you is that when you find them, you won’t feel awkward. You won’t feel uncomfortable, anxious, or exhausted. Your weird will match their weird and then it all falls in to place.

It still takes work, but it’s fun work. And that’s how I got the dating thing right after many years of feeling wrong.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/ileohidalgo/

The Hookup On: Relationship Thoughts & Bumble

A new twist, since you always see my writing and never hear my voice, here’s something fun for you guys! I was on Live from the Middle Urinal, a mainly male focused podcast, and voiced my opinions on dating, Tinder and Bumble, relationships, ghosting, and more!

Take a listen here:

Itunes: http://apple.co/29qpw0f

GooglePlay – http://bit.ly/2m81zLd
Stitcher – http://bit.ly/2lKYJAH
TuneIn – http://bit.ly/2hBgiQj

And let me know your thoughts in the comments!

How We Met (Part 4)

A response to my very old series of endings called  I’m Glad It Didn’t Work Out, view it here. This will be the last part of a series focused on the beginnings of various relationships, view part 1part 2, and part 3.

When we met, I was at a point in my life where I just wasn’t happy. I smiled, I chuckled, I just went through the motions when I was supposed to and that was my version of happy for the time being.

But when I sat next to you at the bar, you made me laugh. A laugh I hadn’t heard or felt in a long time. A laugh that continued all night. You were a friend of a friend so there was only a slight introduction when we jumped into the witty banter. People I didn’t want to see and people I did want to see came and went, but most of my attention was just on how funny you were.

I don’t think I have ever been so struck by someone’s personality before and the fact that you were just so likeable at the time. The bartender made us the most disgusting grape Gatorade shots I had ever had. I only had two or three drinks that night, but I laughed until I cried sitting next to you at that dingy bar. The bar I almost never went to, but happened to be at when I met you.

First impressions are funny because they lack a lot of emotion. You’ll never truly know who a person is when you are barely scratching the surface. But at that time, a night of laughing was all I really needed.

hc
Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/gazeronly/

The Hookup On: My Completed Winter Bucket List

The last day of winter is still a couple of weeks away, it ends on March 19th. But I actually ended up accomplishing almost all of my winter bucket list. The only things I didn’t do were playing in the snow, because there was barely any snow, and crochet a beanie, because I just didn’t have the time or resources. I can also tack on moving out into my own apartment on this list 🙂 I am super proud of myself for all that I accomplished this winter and can’t wait to put together my spring bucket list!

1. Be happy

2. 500 likes on my Facebook page

3. Go to Iceland

4. Go on a weekend trip

5. Take more pictures/go more places

6. Actually enjoy New Years

7. Get into a yoga routine

8. 4,000 instagram followers

9. Change up my hair

10. Make more time for friends

11. Make more time for myself

12. Play in the snow

13. Crochet/knit a beanie

14. Learn something new

15. Continue my commitment to my job

What goals did you accomplish this winter?

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The Hookup On: Blog Name Change

Welcome to Rosie Culture!

The new and improved and differently named Hookup Culture. I had a sudden and overwhelming feeling of needing something more appropriate for my blog name and something that was branded as me.

I grabbed the domain and switched the name everywhere and there it is! I am extremely happy with the change and excited to see where this blog goes moving forward, I hope you all like the name change as well 🙂

My social media sites:

Facebook: www.facebook.com/rosieculture

Twitter: @rosieculture

Instagram: @rosieculture

WordPress: www.rosieculture.com

As always, thanks in advance for your support!