My New Relationship Feels Familiar

My current boyfriend reminds me of my ex boyfriend. There are a lot of similarities between the two relationships that my head almost spins sometimes because it seems so familiar.

And I was kind of worried about that because my old relationship ended in an all out war of who could make the other person feel worse. My old relationship was emotionally scarring and unstable. My old relationship left me broken and scared. My old relationship sucked.

I was sitting here thinking about how I would like a lizard as a pet, maybe my boyfriend and I could buy one together. But it feels a little weird to me because I used to have a lizard as a pet, my ex and I bought one together.

Coincidentally, both guys like lizards.

But it’s not a coincidence to like someone who has things in common with me. I felt all of these similarities between this relationship and an old one, but really the similarities just have to do with me. I’ve found someone like my ex because I’ve found someone who I have a lot in common with.

And just because they both liked sports, tattoos, lizards, and some other silly things, doesn’t mean that the relationship is the same. This relationship is safe, trusting, open, honest, and loving. My old relationship was full of distrust, anger, and emotional abuse.

Duh, I have a type. And this looming feeling of similarities doesn’t have to be looming at all. It’s actually really cool that I found someone that I have stuff in common with that I can have a healthy relationship with. I didn’t date my ex for four years for no reason, it was because we had similar interests and therefore we had fun together.

My new relationship kind of reminds me of an old relationship, but better.

hc
Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/super_pat/

The Hookup On: Why I Want To Visit Sicily

I visited Italy when I was 16, it seems so long ago now. I’ve put it back on my list of places to go because I think it’s hard to appreciate culture and history when you’re young. At least it was for me. When we were there, we saw Rome and Pompeii, but I was really hoping to see Sicily. I’m half Italian and apparently half of that is Roman and the other half is Sicilian. Visiting the place my family originated from would be incredible.

Sicily is the largest island in the Mediterranean Sea. The island is known for having a rich and unique culture, especially in the arts, music, literature, cuisine, and architecture. The richness of the Sicilian territory in terms of history, art, nature and traditions seems unmatched. It has been ruled by many different oppressors from a wide variety of countries in the past.

Italy itself is known for amazing food, art, culture, and history – but to be surrounded by sparkling water on the island of Sicily just seems like a whole new adventure!

There are so many amazing places to explore in Sicily. I was really inspired to visit after seeing this infographic of the sights to see. Places like:

  1. Ancient Theatre of Taormina
    An open air museum, Greek theater that has been renovated to fit Roman style. It is located in a town often referred to as the “pearl of the Mediterannean.”
  2. Etna Park
    Beautiful trails and views that surround one of the largest active volcanoes in Europe.
  3. Valley of Temples
    This is a fascinating Greek sit that expores the incredible history of the Hellenic Civilization.
  4. Scala Dei Turchi
    A beautiful white-rocked cliff looking over the turquoise sea.
  5. Zingaro Natural Reserve
    A paradise for nature lovers, you can see so many different shades of blue in the ocean here.

Sicily is a beautiful island and easy to get to if you’re making a trip to Italy. You can easily take a ferry to any of the locations above. I didn’t know about all of the historical views Sicily had to offer. I was also surprised to learn that Sicily hosts one of the largest active volcanoes in Europe!

Sicily seems like a dream, but I’m hoping to make that dream a reality some day by hopping on a ferry and visiting those beautiful places. Do you want to visit Sicily?

hc

This is a sponsored post. All opinions are mine.

Why I Wear Lipstick On Tuesdays

Most people hate Mondays. And I understand why. You come back into work from a fun weekend with tons of emails and a lagging brain.

But I don’t hate Mondays. I like coming in refreshed from the weekend and catching up on everything. It’s Tuesdays, the day where all of my work piles up on me, that really causes me a lot of stress.

It got to the point where the dread was so heavy that I needed to figure out something to do. Our office tries to not wear black on Tuesday, because let’s face it we all wear black probably way too often. But apparently it’s also bad for your chakra – I don’t know if this is true, but I can’t really afford any more bad juju.

I also took it upon myself to wear lipstick on Tuesdays. It is just the one thing that makes me feel pretty and the one thing that brightens my day. I start my Tuesdays with a bright pink smile and that makes it just the tiniest bit better.

It’s the little things that make a big difference. We can’t always make the changes we want, I can’t just not come into work on Tuesdays. But I can make the whole experience a little brighter and better.

And that’s how I try to approach everything in life. I might not be able to change the bad things completely, but I can make them a little more bearable if I try.

When Your Brain Is In Summer Mode

I don’t know about you guys, but around where I live it has been 70 and sunny every day. It is making work extremely hard.

When it first started getting nice, I came in on a Monday and had the most Mondayest Monday ever. I personally don’t mind Mondays too much, because they are catch up days and relatively easy. It’s Tuesdays I don’t like, but this Monday was extremely hard.

It got nicer throughout the week and I came in the next Monday and just could not get my brain to work. I couldn’t get the simplest of tasks down. I was emailing the wrong people and attaching the wrong documents. I just could not hang.

My brain is on total summer mode right now. It doesn’t help that I haven’t taken a real vacation day since January, my last actual vacation day was spent going to 4 different doctor appointments, superrrr exciting.

Now I am just trying to get back on track. I am making lists and going outside for lunch and planning trips for the future to keep my brain occupied. I think this is the first time I ever wished for it to not be nice out since I’m stuck inside from 9-5 for 5 days out of the week.

I really need to stop being tired and get outside after work and do some fun things. I’ve been in winter mode so long, I’m still trying to adjust.

What do you guys do when your brain is in summer mode?

hc
Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/lenny_montana/

That Was So Long Ago

Are you one of those people that sometimes stays up until 2 AM and thinks about that really embarrassing time that you jumped off the swings in preschool and everyone saw your teddy bear underwear?

I am and that’s a true story.

I think about the sad, bad, embarrassing moments a lot of the time and work myself into an anxiety about it. I’ll stay awake until the sun rises over something that happened years ago.

And I wonder why I’m even thinking about it or why it still matters, but I am and it does. Even though I can’t do anything about it now.

I can’t do anything about it now. That’s what I tell myself every night when I’m thinking too much or on my drive home from work when I had a bad day. It’s time to start over, it’s time to wipe the slate, its time to forget about it and try harder tomorrow.

Sometimes I get anxiety when ex boyfriends try to contact me. Because every single relationship ended badly and every single guy reminds me of that. But why does it matter? Why do I care? It was so long ago. I can’t do anything about it now.

And that’s my mantra to my anxiety. It was so long ago. I can’t do anything about it now. It doesn’t always work, but I’m learning not to sweat the little things or the little people.

It was so long ago that I dated that frat boy and made a fool out of myself. It was so long ago that I shut out my family in high school. It was so long ago that I slipped and fell in the middle of the student center during the lunch rush. It was so long ago, I can’t do anything about it now. I can only try to grow and be better.

hc
Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/acousticskyy/

When Life Gets Boring

I have a lot of plans. I want to go a lot of places, do a lot of things, and just be happy. But life can’t be exciting all the time and I unfortunately have to do a lot of boring things to get to the fun things.

Because you have to work to make money and you have to have money to travel. And you need experience in the job field to get a better job so you have to stay where you are for a couple of years to get there.

And it just puts all of the plans on hold and eventually life gets a little boring.

I have a lot to look forward to. I have vacations planned bi-monthly. I have my weekends booked with fun activities. But it still never seems like enough and the waiting drives me crazy.

What do you do when life gets a little boring? When you feel like you’ve been waking up at 7:00 AM everyday for the past two years and have nothing to show for it. Like you’ve just been a zombie.

Of course it’s not true, I’ve done plenty of things. My life is not boring and exciting things are on their way. And most of the time it’s not a problem, I enjoy everything I’m doing on a daily basis. But sometimes life gets boring and I just want to fast forward to the fun parts, which is no way to live. Just flying through life to get to the excitement, just working for the weekend.

What do you do when life gets boring?

hc
Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/adikos/

Spend A Day On Your Own

I grew up being very shy and dependent. I was probably in my late teens before I could even order my own meal at a restaurant, I would always whisper it in my mom’s ear first. I didn’t think I could do anything new on my own, I was terrified at the thought.

The first time I ate alone was when I was a freshman in college, I went to the cafeteria by myself because no one was answering their phones and I was getting so frustrated with making friends. I sat by myself and a couple of kids asked me to eat with them, they ended up being kind of creepy, and I didn’t feel empowered at all. I just felt like a loser.

But not being able to do things on your own is such a debilitating fear. I missed out on plenty of things I wanted to do just because I couldn’t find anyone to go with me.

So I started forcing my hand. I would buy two tickets to a concert or one airplane ticket for a weekend trip, I left it up to fate if someone would end up going with me. And I wasn’t afraid to do it on my own. Why waste time and experiences by being dependent on someone else?

This weekend, I spent the day in Philadelphia – a place I’ve been to many times before. I went with my boyfriend, but he had plans that I wasn’t really interested in. So while he was busy, I went off on my own. I ate lunch by myself and then saw a movie by myself. I took a walk by myself and just reveled in doing something by myself that wasn’t laying in bed and watching Netflix.

If you own it, it’s eye opening and empowering to do the things you enjoy by yourself. The key to your happiness shouldn’t be in someone else’s pocket and you need to learn how to unlock it yourself before depending on other people. I encourage you to spend a day on your own, learn about yourself, and just have fun.

hc
Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/chrisschoenbohm/

I’ll Always Be Who I Was At 16

I have often tried to forget about fragments of time in my life. I blurred out most of high school, can barely remember middle school, because I just wanted to move on. I wanted to shed my skin and start all over. I wanted to do it better this time.

When I went to college, I tried to find myself. I explored and went out of my comfort zone. I wanted to be the best version of myself, I wanted to know what I was capable of.

During that exploration, I kind of lost myself. It was the opposite of what I wanted to do, but maybe it was what I needed. A wake up call came when I graduated college and had to figure out who I was outside of the sorority, laid back, college life.

That’s when I realized I’ll always be who I was at 16. I can’t just shed skin after skin after skin and expect to start over. I can’t completely forget middle school, high school, and college and try to become a new person again.

I didn’t need to find myself, I already knew who I was. I just needed to build upon it. Every experience, every version of yourself is just a brick to the building. It makes up who you are. So even though I’m not 16 years old, that high school brick still takes up a part of me. I still rock out at concerts and write in a journal and get really shy sometimes.

And even though college is over, that buckwild 21 year old brick still makes up who I am. I can still go out and have fun, nap all day, and get a little dramatic.

It’s time to stop denying the past, because your past makes you who you are. Every ex-boyfriend, every girl fight, every failing grade, and dumb mistake was a lesson. You are learning and becoming the best version of yourself every day, brick by brick. I’ll always be who I was at 16 and I’m starting to love that.

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A picture of me at 16 for your enjoyment

How Hopeless I Felt When I Was Single

I’m not sure why being single seems like it’s the end of the world. I guess no matter how hard I looked at it, no one looked as happy when they were single as they did when they were in a relationship.

There was a good chunk of time for me when being single was like torture. There was also a time where I held onto it real tight, avoiding every relationship possible.

But I never really stopped feeling hopeless. When I was happy being single, I still got lonely. My friends all were in relationships and when they were off doing their boyfriend/girlfriend thing, I was alone. It taught me to be by myself, but it made me think I would always be by myself. When I started to become comfortable alone and do well by myself, I felt even more hopeless that I would never find what my friends had. That I would never find what I was reading about in books or binge watching on Netflix.

And when I was sad being single, I was more than hopeless. I felt that I was hard to love. There had been a time where I had given the boy I loved everything. But then I felt like I had nothing left to give.

It’s normal to feel hopeless when you’re single, whether you’re happy or sad. But even when you give up on yourself, the person that’s right for you won’t be giving up at all. It takes time, patience, and a lot of learning. But you’re not hopeless.

hc
Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/james_sickmind/