Ditch the Douchebag (Part 2)

Picture by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/calamity_photography/
Picture by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/calamity_photography/

In my previous article, I established the fact that most girls have that “douchebag” they can’t let go of. But what about the guy they did let go? The nice guy. The one who said and did everything you wanted but the “timing was wrong” or whatever other illegitimate excuse you deemed suitable to end this “too good to be true” relationship.

I love my douchebag, despite the off-the-charts stress levels he brings into my life. I will always be thankful for everything he’s taught me. However, looking back on everything, I realize that my douchebag wasn’t as perfect as I thought he was. His flaws began pouring out and I was shocked. I thought to myself, “Why was I ever intimidated by this person?” My douchebag is an everyday Joe Schmo. Nothing special. And to whoever is reading this, your douchebag isn’t special either. As the saying from He’s Just Not That Into You goes, “You are the rule, not the exception.” Your douchebag and mine included will never have an epiphany one day and realize how fucking awesome you are, or how pretty you are regardless of makeup, or how much you cared and still do. And that’s okay, because over time the unanswered gestures of love will make you stronger and more independent.

You’ll realize your opinion is the only one that matters. You won’t need someone to tell you you look hot in your formal dress, because standing in front of that mirror and saying it to yourself is more than enough. You won’t need someone to tell you congratulations on that internship because you can go out and grab a bottle of wine and celebrate with yourself and your girlfriends. After realizing all of this, I also realized that I no longer had room for my douchebag in my life. My life is filled with so much joy, new opportunities, and excitement that I have no room left for negativity. While I still love my douchebag, I’ve learned that I can love him from a distance… a very wide and long distance.

During my fiasco with my douchebag, I met Mr. Nice Guy. At first, I didn’t really give him a chance because I didn’t think he was giving me one either. He had the reputation of being a “hit it and quit it” type of guy, the one most girls hate. I must be the new, black Taylor Swift because I made the bad guy good for way longer than a weekend. After going back and forth between Mr. Nice Guy and my douchebag, I finally planted my feet in a solid, healthy relationship with Mr. Nice Guy. He accepts me for all of my flaws and mistakes. He makes me push harder for my goals. He helps me plan for my future, whether, he’ll be there for it or not. I know at the end of the day, he only has my best interest in mind. It took me almost 6 months to realize that. I hated Mr. Nice Guy for awhile, I talked crap about him and said how unbelievably annoying he was. I feel sorry for what I did, but I don’t regret it. Without all of that hard work and nonsense beforehand, we wouldn’t be where we are today.

How do I know it’ll work out? Well, I don’t. But that’s okay, because I’m 21 years old and I have the rest of my life to figure out what works for me and what doesn’t. All I know is that with Mr. Nice Guy, there’s no craziness, no drama, no stress.

Despite what the media says nowadays, you don’t have to torture each other with drama just to prove you love one another. “We accept the love we think we deserve,” so why is everyone with shitty people? I deserve someone who loves me without alcohol in their system, who will answer my calls at 2am even if it’s just to talk, who adds to my accomplishments not my failures. And I’ve found that someone. For once, I will no longer deny myself the right to be happy. I’m all in.

So simply put, I do love my douchebag. But I love my Mr. Nice Guy more.

Maya Holley

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