I think one my biggest pet peeves in a relationship is being made to look stupid. When your partner is doing something behind your back and everyone knows except you.
Since my first boyfriend, I’ve always preached that if I was ever cheated on I would end it then and there. No reason to talk about it, no reason to forgive, it would just be over. Because how can you forgive and forget someone blatantly breaking your trust? When they go out at night you’ll wonder who they’re with, what they’re doing, and if they’re doing someone else. They’re just natural thoughts especially when you’ve been hurt. This will just lead to an unhealthy relationship of fighting and mistrust.
I was never cheated on when I said those things, so it was easy to say that I would just leave it all behind without a second glance.
Then there’s the whole lying aspect of cheating. I can understand how hard it must be to own up to your actions, especially when someone’s hanging something over your head like “if you cheat on me, it’s over.” And you may not want it to end, but then again a little piece of you wanted something else. That something else wasn’t your girlfriend/boyfriend. Their friends probably knew about the cheating, the girl or guy who they cheated with knows, everyone but you knew. You were standing there holding someone’s hand and everyone was pitying you.
Even if someone could somehow get past the mistrust. They somehow let you go out at night with your friends alone, they somehow avoid fighting with you, they somehow get past the fact that you were with someone else. Everyone’s still going to know you cheated on them – and they will always be looked at as the weaker being that got back together with someone who treated them so poorly.
9 thoughts on “Can You Forgive A Cheater”
I was married to someone who cheated. I married young and it took me awhile to figure it out, years. I made the mistake of “forgiving” him, so what happened? He did it again, and again, and again, and usually with girls I called “friends” You should never forgive a cheater. It really is true that if they will do it once, they will do it again. If you find yourself in a relationship and thinking about someone else, but you are “comfortable” with that relationship, it is time to move on. If you can even consider yourself with someone else, then it is time to be by yourself, and learn about yourself. Jumping from relationship to relationship will only leave you feeling empty inside and never knowing the reason why.
Find out who you are, be happy with you, the rest will come a long on it’s own. I say this from experience, although it is true that not everyone experiences the same things. In my adventures I have discovered, along with my real friends, that this seems to be the only way to find happiness. No matter how hard I tried, until I was happy with who I was, I was never “happy” in a relationship. I found you through an awesome guy OM, feel free to check out my blog. I am brand new to blogging, so it is still a little crazy over there. I am taking advice and suggestions. I look forward to reading more of your posts.
Thank you for sharing your story! It is really true you can’t forgive a cheater, and I wholeheartedly agree that you need to be happy alone before you can be happy in a relationship. That’s something I always try to remember in life 🙂 I’ll definitely check your blog out, thanks again for your comment!
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Thank you Rosieek. I had to learn the hard way. If my post can save just one person from going through that heartache, it will be worth it. My blog has only been up for a few days, it will get better. I will check yours out as well. Thank you so much for the follow 🙂