In middle school, having a boyfriend was the only thing that was important. You’re in your awkward phase and just need someone to tell you you’re pretty. You’re still forming friendships and you need someone who is a constant. Your favorite emo songs sing about heartbreak and falling in love and you want to be able to relate. The books you read end with happiness and holding hands and you want to hold hands too. The reality shows on television show so much drama, but love always prevails and you want to prevail, too.
We never grow out of that middle school self.
We still need to be told we’re pretty, friends still come and go, we sing the songs at pregames, read the books on casual evenings, and watch the reality tv on hungover afternoons.
We saw it as a problem solver – being in a relationship guarantees that someone will be there for you at all times no matter what. It’s hard to rely on anyone else, that’s what having a boyfriend or girlfriend is for.
As more problems occur in your adult life, you become more and more convinced that not having anyone to love you is the number one problem. Failing your classes because you have no one to study with. Not getting a job because you have no one to push you. Getting too drunk because you had no one to stay in with.
It all connects to not having a person.
If you think a relationship will fix your problems, you’re very off base. Sure, it will soften some of the blows that life throws at you, but a relationship is just a temporary fix.
Find friends that will stay by your side. Mend relations with your family so you can always fall back on them. Most importantly, be able to rely on yourself. Push yourself and monitor yourself – because despite what you may think, no one will ever know you as well as you know yourself. Be your own driving force.