Disclaimer: I’m the annoying single friend.
Not all single people are annoying. But there comes a time in our singleness where it becomes more of an affliction than just the status of our love life. It literally becomes ailing for us to see other couples making out and we spend our nights swiping through Tinder hoping we will soon find someone to take an Instagram picture with – like those pictures of one of us pulling the other to a destination – even though we continuously talk shit on people who do stuff like that.
It starts out slow – the annoying single friend disease. First, we may just watch from afar and start to think how our lives would benefit from a relationship. But then we take it to the next level and begin to voice our concerns.
Our relationship friends come home and brag about how their boyfriend bought them flowers. We’ll nonchalantly state how we would love if someone bought us flowers. They reply “oh, you’ll find someone some day soon!” And we shrug it off.
Then we stop shrugging it off and begin asking the tough questions. When will I find someone? Why does no one like me?! And of course, your relationship friends don’t really have an answer to this and probably feel super uncomfortable that you keep asking just because they found someone before you did.
The single annoying friend will then take to social media. Tweeting: “lol just saw someone get engaged #sosingle” and we might have said lol, but really we’re just dying inside. Reposting articles on Facebook that are really depressing more than they are helpful with titles stating “Why You Don’t Want A Relationship In Your 20’s.” Which most of the time just means “Why You Can’t Keep A Guy Around At Any Point In Your Life Let Alone Your 20’s.”
The annoying single friend sickness really only starts to come out when the happily single life they were living paused for a moment and just isn’t as happy as they remembered. Your annoying single friend will eventually turn back into the plain old normal single friend, once they get enough sleep and online shop for 3 hours straight. Try not to let the affliction affect you – whether you are the annoying single friend or the relationship friend – it is only temporary.
On behalf of all annoying single friends, I apologize in advance.