I’ve been in this world for 22 years now. That’s approximately 1/4 of a lifetime. To some, it may seem like that’s nothing – like I’ve been here for an hour when they’ve been here for a year. To people my age, it’s a lot and time doesn’t seem to be slowing down.
In my lifetime, I’ve seen at least six different versions of myself. I’ve gone from bubbly and weird to unhappy and introverted to secure and happy to insecure and kind of happy. I took on different traits and hobbies that I inherited from who I was with in the moment. I became someone I liked, someone I hated, and someone I couldn’t even recognize. But that’s part of life – we’re always changing.
I have a hard time believing in marriage and relationships because of this. I guess when you find the right person, you change together. But I find myself changing so often that I don’t know how anyone could ever keep up.
There are different stages of our lives that require different versions of ourselves. I was happy being a single girl who liked to party and socialize. That was fine in college, but that part of myself didn’t transfer well into my postgrad life. I can see myself changing, picking up pieces of my past and mixing them with pieces of my present, and it’s scary to know that something that once made you happy doesn’t make you happy anymore.
But a better word for change is adapt. We’re adapting, we do what we do to survive. Although there may be awkward periods of time where we aren’t always secure and happy with ourselves, you can work up to who you want to be and what fits into your new lifestyle. Change isn’t always bad as long as you embrace it instead of running away.