Single You Vs. You In A Relationship

People often speak of change so negatively.

I can specifically remember multiple conversations throughout middle school, high school, college, and even now where one of my friends looked at me with narrow eyes and said “you’ve changed” with such disgust.

That’s what we do, that’s what growing up is. You change due to your circumstances. If I never changed I’d still be as quiet as a mouse and passive like I was when I was 8. Or I’d still be awkward and uncomfortable, ultimately making me unhappy, like I was when I was 15. Or I’d still be brainwashed and committed like I was when I was 19. Or out of control and depressed like I was when I was 21.

But I’m none of those things now and neither are you – because we change. And one main thing that can change us is relationships.

“Don’t let anyone change you” is the biggest garbage I’ve ever heard. There is always room for improvement, there is always room to grow – don’t let anyone tear you down, but ALWAYS let someone build you up to being the best version of yourself.

So the single version of you may consist of the following: spending a lot of time with friends, ditching out on family, constantly worrying about what’s around the corner. Or being introverted, spending too much time in bed, ignoring responsibilities. Or being extremely motivated, having everything under control, and enjoying happiness.

And the in-a-relationship version of yourself may be the complete opposite of those things. Which can be negative or positive. (If it’s a negative change, you need to evaluate yourself before letting another person into your life.)

There can be more than one version of yourself depending on who you decide to spend your time with. And that’s okay. It’s okay if you’re one way when you’re single and slightly different when you’re in a relationship. Anyone who tells you that’s wrong isn’t supportive of you and is not necessary.

Keep your changes positive and surround yourself with positive people to keep every version of yourself happy.

17 thoughts on “Single You Vs. You In A Relationship

  1. This is a really insightful post. I agree, I also think that sometimes we need people to change us for the better, but that’s not always the case. We evolve over time, sometimes we grow apart sometimes we grow closer. It all just depends.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I like the idea of the more than one version of myself. My ideal guy is someone I can “introvert” with…but also be able to share some experiences I wouldn’t normally go for by myself.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I just kept thinking of my middle sister, she is now in her first relationship and is completely consumed by it. I hardly see her anymore, but I give her the benefit of the doubt. I was the same way when I was her age so who am I to judge, at least she seems happy, and that makes me happy.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ah I know the feeling to be consumed by a relationship, it’s not the best thing but I think it’s something everyone has to go through to realize what they want from a relationship. I hope everything works out for her!

      Liked by 1 person

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