1. Your bed is the love of your life.
Seriously, I’m unsure that I’ll ever love a human being as much as I love my bed and heated blanket.
2. “Sorry, I was napping” is the number one excuse.
Why didn’t I text you back? I was obviously asleep…
3. Early risers are just plain annoying.
No, I don’t want to get breakfast with you – I’ll be asleep.
4. Leaving the party early just to sleep is the norm.
Where am I going? Uhhh I have other plans… with my bed.
5. Life without caffeine is no life at all.
I’m basically a zombie until I have a diet coke with lunch.
6. If you’re already in bed, you’re not going out.
Like I will cancel on you because I’m wrapped up in my bed like a burrito and I’m not really sorry about it.
7. A “nap” is really just a second bed time.
Why can’t I sleep for 5 hours during the day? Who made these rules?
8. You get jealous of your pets
I seriously walk past my dog snoozing every morning and say a little prayer that I will one day be a dog.
9. You go to bed tired and wake up tired.
Always tired. No matter what.
10. You are always just a different level of tired.
There’s an ‘I can probably go out and party’ tired, an ‘I’m getting really annoyed’ tired, a ‘don’t talk to me I will kill you’ tired, or there’s just a ‘zero chance of functioning’ tired.