A lot of people have a problem with the way millennials date. Or the lack of dating that occurs. Sure, we live in a hookup culture. We choose one night stands over lasting relationships. We honestly have too many people to meet and too much to do.
But in many ways, we date just like everyone else did. We just choose to use different terms for it. This is what I have a problem with. Because a lot of people will describe their relationship as “we’re just talking” which is really saying “we’re absolutely nothing.”
Once you’re out of college, you’ll find that it’s not a crime to casually date more than one person at a time. You don’t really make a commitment or become exclusive with anyone until you really get to know them. This is hard to do in college because it’s such a tight knit community.
If you’re texting someone every day and hooking up with someone exclusively, you’re dating. I know dating is a scary term for some people because it means commitment, but unless you’ve both agreed you’re in a mongonaous relationship, dating still gives you an easy way out. If you’re both looking for something long term and are dedicated to each other, you are in a relationship.
If you are just hooking up with really no definitions – then you’re just hooking up. If you text every day but nothing else has happened then you’re just texting. But stop saying “we’re talking” as if it’s some romantic gesture. It’s just an unnecessary label you’re giving yourself to make your life and the dating world way more complicated.
In general, if you’re feeling some way about someone then you should try to define it. Whether It’s flirty friends, hooking up, dating, or in a relationship. But please stop saying “we’re talking” – it’s not a clearly defined form of relationship. When everything is blurry and unclear, someone is bound to get hurt. Because some people think we’re talking means friends with benefits while others think it means a full blown commitment. Avoid the term to avoid the heart ache – stop saying “we’re talking.”
Rosie Culture 
I’ve actually never heard anyone use that term before. Or at least not in that way. Mostly when people say they’re talking, its because they’re still talking about what they are.
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Really? I can’t count the amount of times someone has said to me “we’re like talking” which basically means we’re a thing, hooking up, texting a lot, and who knows what else. It’s just a vague description for people who don’t really know what they are, I wish they meant they were talking about what they are because most people in college don’t do that lol
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The problem with “we’re talking” is that it is used heavily by two camps. One camp uses it as a euphemism for a booty call they’re trying to lock down. The other camp uses it to mean “I am interested, but I’m not sure I want to date this person or not”. When a term is used to mean such completely opposite things (sex hoping for commitment and a placeholder commitment before sex), it isn’t surprising that it makes no sense at all.
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Yes I totally agree. Any romantic situation needs to be defined because emotions are so delicate. When “we’re talking” is being used and no one knows the real definition to it, things are definitely going to get messy.
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I’m so glad I missed this stage. When I met Matt, there was still a simple line and we never found ourselves lost in this way of “dating”. A lot of my friends around that time used to use this phrase a lot, and it’s safe to say they didn’t find themselves in a great relationship – just a big old mess.
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It is a big old mess! I just think it’s so silly, I used to tell the guys I was seeing that we were dating and they’d get all weird about it even though I didn’t consider us in a relationship. People will do anything to avoid commitment, I’m happy that you didn’t have to go through it!
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How weird! I wouldn’t consider the term dating to have a huge load of commitment attached to it. To be fair though, I’ve never used “dating” either. For me, it used to be “friends” up until a spark that lead to the start of a relationship.
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I think it really depends on the age you’re at, in college no one ever wanted to be in a fully committed relationship so I always used the term dating. Now that I’m out of college, I wouldn’t say I’m dating anyone but I go on dates so they’re technically just my friend until a relationship really starts lol it’s all SO complicated!
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Couldn’t agree more! This post is genius 😄
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thank you! 🙂
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I agree. It’s not a relationship status. That said, Mr. Not-Serious and I are just talking. Which is why I’m still looking. LOL
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Yes! Casually dating is great, it’s the people who think “we’re talking” means something serious who are reallyyyy in trouble lol
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Well, I *am* quite a bit older than a millennial, so I hope that I’m better at reading these things. LOL. The jury is still out on that assessment.
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I am sure you are great at reading the situation! But dating is so confusing so the whole thing can get very confusing lol
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VERY confusing. *sigh*
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Damn. I say we’re just talking often
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Oh Nooo you’re one of those!
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yep, unfortunately 🙂
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truth be told i fear dating it gives me the unnecessary goosebumps since at one time you not even sure for how long it lasts…call it fear of heartbreaks
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I totally have the same fear, I like dating but anything that comes close to a relationship scares me.
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