Terms such as “hooking up” and “friends with benefits” are pretty common these days. The hookup culture we live in means less relationships because our time is focused elsewhere. Whether we are career driven, education focused, dream chasing, or just plain selfish. There is a time in our life where relationships just aren’t possible so we avoid the emotional and lean towards the physical.
But that time in your life where a relationship isn’t possible doesn’t last forever. There eventually is a time where you are emotionally and physically available. Some start to look for relationships at that time and some choose to veer from them still. There is a time in our lives where we are all ready to settle down, but instead of doing so some choose to stay in the “hooking up” or “friends with benefits” stage.
Honestly, the physical thing just gets tiring. As if dating wasn’t hard enough, now you’re not sure if someone just wants to have fun or wants something serious. It’s like you have to have a pretty honest and serious talk on your first date, which is awkward but maybe necessary. Putting everything out on the line for someone who is looking for only a physical relationship – nothing serious – is a letdown.
And it’s disappointing when someone kisses you like they want to do you instead of kissing you like they actually like you. Obviously physical attraction is a big part of compatibility, but it all doesn’t have to be about shoving your tongue down someone’s throat or how long it will take to get them into the bedroom.
It’s kind of belittling to start to develop emotions for someone who is only looking at you like another notch on the bedpost. Especially when it seems pretty obvious that you are both at steady points in your lives and could settle for something serious. Consider going beyond a physical relationship. If you can’t or don’t want to, then you need to be straight up and honest with yourself and the person you’re considering taking out on a date. It’s nice to be physically wanted, but it’s nicer to be emotionally appreciated.