If I could give one piece of advice it would be to “do you.” Stop caring about what other people think and stop living your life based off of their expectations.
But if I could add onto that I would tell you it’s almost impossible. Whether it’s about your job, your friends, your social life, love life, weight, appearance, or whatever – you’re always going to listen to what other people have to say. And even if you try your best, even if you think you’re doing the right thing, their conflicting opinion will conflict you.
We tend to put people up on pedestals and expect a lot out of them. We expect them to succeed, we expect them to be emotionally available, we expect them to be perfect. Especially when we’re trying to date them.
I know we can’t help but day dream. Can’t help but think that boy must be perfect in every way because his hair always looks so good in pictures and he’s always surrounding himself with the best people. We can’t help but think they’re probably a great kisser, they’re probably so romantic, they’re everything we’ve ever dreamed of.
But how unfair is that? To put all those expectations on someone’s shoulders. You certainly wouldn’t want it done to you. You certainly wouldn’t want someone to build you up in their head, because that just means no matter what you’re going to disappoint them. How are we supposed to live up to day dreams?
The next time you think someone’s perfect, put yourself in their shoes. Realize that everyone lives as complex of a life as you do. They have insecurities too. They can’t be everything you’ve ever imagined right away because you couldn’t even be that to someone else.
Do you, or at least try to. And when you don’t live up to someone’s expectations, stop and focus on the fact that you need to be living up to your own expectations. You’re hard enough on yourself already – I don’t have to know you personally to know that. Be the person you want to be and accept the people who motivate and want you to be nothing more than yourself.