The last part of the series – and my favorite. A series of apologies and relationships that just didn’t work out, click here for part 1, click here for part 2, click here for part 3, click here for part 4, click here for part 5.
I am overjoyed, ecstatic, and unbearably happy that it did not work out. It’s petty and it’s bitter to speak poorly about your exes, but I’ll gladly take those words from anyone in order to explain how it felt when you broke up with me.
You are the worst person I know. You’re really not a person at all. You jump from relationship to relationship in order to grasp pieces of yourself from the people you date. You are extremely incapable of being alone and in that sense I consider you weak. You were trying to make me weak, too.
You tricked me, took advantage of me, made me believe beautiful things, then left me in the dark. You strung me along for years. I repeatedly tried to get out of it and you repeatedly guilted me into staying. I know you were never faithful as I was. Just as you weren’t in your past relationships, just as you are and will be in your future relationships. Being unfaithful does not always include physical cheating, but you take advantage of that fine line.
I fell in love with you because I thought you were just like me. Finally someone understood and finally someone thought I was pretty and finally someone liked me. But you were just molding yourself to fit me. You were just consuming the attention of the first person who gave it to you. And you did the same exact thing when we “broke up”, but with another victim.
Maybe we should talk about that. How you never actually broke up with me. Or how you never had the courage to say no to me. You always lead me on by saying “maybe” in order to disappoint me time and time and again. I’m sure there were good times, but I really just think I was feigning happiness because that’s what I was supposed to do. That is how I thought relationships were supposed to work. We were going to be with each other for the rest of our lives so it was okay that I had underlying unhappiness.
I am so glad it didn’t work out because I am capable of being alone. I am not weak. And your cowardice brought the unhappiness that I was trying to hide in our relationship out in the open. Clear to see. In a way, I’m glad we dated because I am a different person now. But in another way, I wish I had never had met you. You wasted my time, you wasted my emotions. All I can say is I hope one day you own up to the awful way you’ve treated people, not just me. I hope you own up to yourself because I truly do not care and do not wish for another half hearted apology from you. A puppy dog face that tries to make someone feel like it’s not your fault, but their own. I stopped buying it the moment you stopped trying to fit into my mold. I own up to my mistakes now. I have owned up to myself. I’m not weak, I’m not a coward, and I’m glad that we didn’t work out.
Rosie Culture 
Ugh…I hate these feelings but I can say I totally related to this. There was a “man” (he pretended to be a man) that took advantage and smiled in my face while the whole time he was lying to me. I thought I had let it go, moved on, and gotten over it. That is, until I met a real man. One who was worth my time and energy. I started to have anxiety thinking everyone was like the manipulative man I had known, so then I had to step back and ask myself, what was I doing to let myself be treated this way? No one deserves this treatment, but we have to be accountable for the roles we play. I looked at how I had set my boundaries and how I had allowed other people to treat me. I am still working on forgiving myself for being foolish, but I definitely learned from my mistakes. Realizing how much more we are worth is the start. You may be interested in reading this http://gingerfunksblog.com/2016/03/07/warrior-woman/
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Wow I’m basically going through the same thing. Every time I date someone I go through this insane anxiety about my relationships turning out as badly as this one. I’ll definitely check out that post!
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I’m realizing it’s not even the other person I don’t trust, it’s me and my judgement!
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oh boy that’s a whole other problem I have to dive into lol
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He was a really bad one I think. I can feel how hurt you are still by him. I’m glad for you, you stood your ground and didn’t let him absorb you. I’m glad you stood up and walked away.
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Thank you 🙂 I’m sure I am bias, but I can say I feel like he was a bad one and it still really impacts me. The moving on process is a slow one, but I’m getting there
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Yes, know what you mean. Eventually, you move on, you just will, you just stop thinking about him and that time. I do t know why, it just clicks. Best of luck 🙂
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Thank you 🙂 hoping that it clicks soon lol
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He didn’t deserve you, full stop. Sounds like you’ve grown through all this Rosie, as hard as it is. You’re better off in the long run.
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Thank you 🙂 You are definitely right, I’m better off!
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Wow. I’m going to have to catch up on your blog. It sounds like you had a “Loser” too.
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lol I definitely did
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Then we’re sisters.
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I rarely read your blog but having recently gone through a break, well im actually still going through one, i enjoy your break ups section, i can relate to a lot of the stuff from a guy’s view of course. Thank you for sharing i hope i will have the courage to share my experience in time
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Thank you for reading! I’m sorry to hear about your break up, I know how hard they are and it can take a lot of time to recover and find yourself again. I hope my experience can help you at least a little bit through your break up. One day you will have the courage, in the meantime I am always around if you need to talk or read something you can relate to 🙂
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Thank you so much, will do
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