Confessions Of A Former Mean Girl

Alright – I’m not saying I’m the nicest girl in the world right now. But I used to be pretty mean.

Nowadays I think they would’ve called me a bully in high school – in my day we just called it being mean girls. I walked around with a glare on my face most of the time, got in catty fights with my friends, and barely spoke to anyone I didn’t want to speak to.

I carried it with me into college. I liked who I liked and if I didn’t know you then I didn’t really feel the need to get to know you. I was mean because it was easier. It was easier than forming relationships with every single person I met because that always seemed to end in disappointment.

It was easier to be mean because it meant I didn’t have to open up. People just chalked it up to me being an unpleasant person – but I made it so the people I did spend time with knew that they were special to me. That I didn’t let just anyone into my life. That they meant something to me while everyone else meant literally nothing.

I accepted the names that were thrown at me, crowned myself a queen b, and moved on with my life. But after getting hurt multiple times by guys I was dating and multiple friends – I realized mean was all I had left in me.

Being mean did not shelter me from being disappointed.

In order to move on from the hurt, I had to move on from the mean. I realized it was getting me nowhere. While I had great friends, I had a hard time meeting new people. And I just found it became easier to be nice upon meeting someone instead of being stand offish.

Because as much as everyone loves a boss, that doesn’t mean that chick is actually going to be loved. Why would I want people to dislike me? Why wouldn’t I open myself to the opportunity to know as many amazing people as possible?

It has impacted the way I leave break ups, the way I form and break friendships, and has changed my outlook. Do I end up with more disappointments than I used to? The truth is, no. Because the people you attract while being mean are probably people who are going to disappoint you anyway.

I am much more open and insecure now though – but that is a small price to pay to be able to finally build your confidence off of something positive rather than negative.Β  If people don’t like me I know its because of me, not just because I’m mean. And while that is disheartening, you really can’t please everyone.

There is always someone who is going to be nicer than you. And there will always be occasions where sass, sarcasm, and a side eye will be necessary. But in general, being nice is just easier than being mean. So I took off my queen b crown and squeezed into the crowd because I’m happier here.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/lucianamarti/

23 thoughts on “Confessions Of A Former Mean Girl

  1. I am quite shy which some may interpret as me being stand offish. Being visually impaired (I have a little residual vision but can only see outlines of objects and use talking software on my computer) I do, on occasions come across people patronising me which can, I think make me a little prickly at times as no one likes being patronised. Having said that my friends dont see me as being stand offish. Kevin

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I think people think I look mean because my thinking face looks like I am pissed. I am not pissed, just deep in thought, lol. Have you watched Billy Madison? If there was anyone you think you hurt, maybe track them down and apologize (so they don’t send a hit man after you, lol). Kidding on that, I think most of us realize that in High School we are young and stupid but eventually we all grow out of that (for the most part). Although for some reason we still have a tendency to bring the High School cliques to work… it’s weird.

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  3. Proof that people can take ownership of their actions, see them for what they are, and then make the changes needed to be in a more positive place for everyone!

    Great post.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. An interesting post. It gives me an insight to part of a the reasons people have been so mean in my own life. I prefer being nice but that doesn’t mean I will take bullshit. That is the most important lesson I take from not being mean. You can be a nice person and still not take crap off people. It’s all about perspective xx

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I love how honest you are in this. You seem like such a sweetheart now that I would not have guessed that, but I definitely don’t think people should be judged by the person they were in high school… People change a lot and grow. This was a really interesting read! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Being nice can be harder in the modern world because its so easy I think to be cynical and mean. Overlooking someones faults to find them being someone worthy can be difficult. You have to be intentional about your attitude and to be kind. No one is perfect so we have to do our best in relationships with others. Great post.

    Liked by 1 person

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