When you’re desperate for love, you can basically turn any person into your soul mate. You can build them up in your head to be the perfect match you’ve been waiting for. And if they do the same, you’ll probably get married and possibly live happily ever after, or maybe not so happily ever after.
But when you settle like that, you miss out on meeting “the one.” You gave up on the excitement, butterflies, and fairy tale ending because you just got tired of waiting. I’m sure the replacement guy or gal is perfectly fine, but you could really have so much more. You haven’t met the one because you’ve settled down with someone else due to loneliness and you’re just not looking anymore.
Or you haven’t met “the one” and you’re actively dating. You continuously try to meet new people, go on first dates, create texting relationships and nothing pans out. There’s always some sort of excuse – that guy from the date wasn’t that cute. That girl at the bar seemed kind of like a party animal. The person you’re texting just can’t hold a conversation.
All of these excuses stem from the fact that you are not actually looking for the one. No matter how much you tell yourself you’re ready, you’re probably just not.
And that’s okay. You can keep trying, but until you get over whatever the bump in the road is that is making you not ready, each date is going to end in an excuse. Each person you meet is going to end in an excuse. Each flirtatious conversation is going to end in an excuse.
Is it easy to find the love of your life? No. But it is a lot easier when you are 100% ready for that type of commitment and not just looking to marry the first guy that thinks you’re pretty. You haven’t met the one because you’re not actually looking. But if you take your time, become aware, and open – then maybe one day you won’t even know you’re looking and love will jump start your heart without a warning.
Rosie Culture 
This is actually true. If two people decide to be in a relationship and focus on the very best in each other the majority of tike, the longevity and evolution they experience together and separately can trump any butterflies one may feel during the infatuation stage. In some cultures people meet, “fall in love,” and get married within weeks, and stay married and “content” with the support of their community/family/ village. Too often we dump people due to lack of butterflies, only to keep starting the same process over and over again.
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It’s definitely one way to do it, I just don’t know if I’d want a relationship that just felt good enough rather than amazing.
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A lot of what we want desire is based on beliefs (thoughts we’ve been thinking and processing for a long time). As time goes on, if we are open, we realize that some of them no longer serve us, and some do. Desires change. Not saying this will be your case, but luckily there are many paths to lasting unconditional love within partnerships.
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I totally agree, I think we need to be realistic about what we need in a relationship – but it’s a hard lesson to learn 🙂
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It certainly was for me. Lol. Even when amazing shows up, fears and old thoughts/energy can emerge and throw you off balance. I NOW see that as an opportunity to get even closer to amazing. Whatever you want in a relationship is realistic. It just doesn’t always happen how and wgen we expect it to. Even the most amazing relationships had glitches along the way.
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Honey you must keep looking 🙂
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ugh it’s so hard thoughhhh
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Your work and views on a topic are amazing.. Kudos to you.. Keep Writing.
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Thank you!! 🙂
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