The past is just so tempting.
We find comfort in past relationships because at one point, they were very comfortable. Externally, we may forget about all of the bad things that occurred. We don’t really remember the cheating, the lying, the bad blood that pooled after the break up.
But internally, we never really forget. It sits in our minds, quiets the butterflies in our stomachs.
Some people do deserve a second chance. Some exes aren’t as bad as others. But after all is said and done – the honeymoon stage into the fighting into the break up – can you really forget about all the pain? Can you set aside that discomfort and date your ex again?
Sure you may love them a lot and they may make you happy, but the bad parts never really go away. They boil up again and again. Because if you catch him in a white lie, you’ll be reminded of all the other little white lies. The little lies that led to bigger lies, the lies that led to cheating. The things that left you heartbroken.
There’s just no such thing as a clean slate. You can’t wipe off the mess and expect it to be shiny and new again. It just doesn’t happen, sad memories will still reside.
In some ways, I’m sure you could get past those memories. If trust was slowly built up again, if a spark was gradually ignited. But to rush into dating your ex again will only result in the whole thing going up in flames. There’s no shame in taking things slow – especially after being hurt before.
Can you date your ex again? I don’t really know. But if you go at a snail’s pace and take your time, you might be able to spare some feelings while you’re trying to figure it out.
Rosie Culture 
Dating an ex again has never worked for me personally, but that is not to say it can’t happen with truth, time and 100% acceptance of who a person really is and not who you think they should be.
Great post (as usual! 😊)
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The last part of your comment is SO important! You really have to fully accept your ex and your past relationship to start it up again. Thank you 🙂
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I always seem to go back to ex’s… it must be a comfort thing.
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Me too! It’s definitely something I do when I’m kind of at my loneliest
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Reblogged this on GUM | Growing Up Millennial.
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The few times I have revisited a relationship it was only a few weeks later. I believe had more time passed it would have worked. I do wish my ex from 5 months ago who change his mind. But I am not sure that enough time has passed for both of us to heal and to accept the faults in one another. In a perfect world, it would work out. But if it didn’t work the first time, I don’t really think it will a second.
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I’ve tried it after a short amount of time too and it was always a mess. It does take time for people to heal and for the old wounds to mend
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I’m right in the process of a relationship ending and I keep going back and forth about what I’m willing to change about myself versus accepting the level of happiness I’m willing to sacrifice.
And I suppose it boils down to that is the level of sacrifice going to allow you to still be happy?
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I had a relationship end because we both really weren’t willing to sacrifice anymore. But even when something makes you happy, it’s not like you can forget all the pain from before. And should you really have to sacrifice anything to be happy? So confusing
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Truly.
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Sometimes no bad things occured, the parties drift apart due to various things, hence its an amiable separation. So to your question I have thought about dating an Ex for a while now, a part of me says it would work great, we are both older now, we were teens then. Another part says why bother, its past tense. Wonder which I did choose eventually.
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I’ve never had a good break up, but I could definitely see it working out if your first relationship ended without hard feelings. It’s always worth a shot 🙂
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Perhaps…it might. Or not.
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I actually think it can be easy, depending on the circumstances at the time it ended and if something really major has changed along the way. Like, if the relationship ended relatively amicably because one person just was not at a place to commit in their life, or some other non-wounding reason, and then there was a good amount of time and different life circumstances when getting together again. Like the Ted and Robyn theory. Something like that, I think exes easily could.
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I’ve never had a relationship really end amicably haha but I agree, if it was something that had no hard feelings it could easily work out again
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depending on the nature of the break up in the first place then we can decide if to have them back or not
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Yea I agree, there can’t be any really bad blood
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I think you can. I have…but it’s never ended up being a long term thing…
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I definitely think it would be hard to work out again
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It depends on how the break up was. If it was ugly and messy then it’s definitely a very bad idea and a wrong move to date an ex. In such cases, one of the parties is still vengeful and the second breakup may be worse than the first one.
If you guys broke up amicably then it’s worth another try.
Someone once advised me to minimize on break up drama. You never know where next you’ll meet this person or what help either of you may need from the other in future not necessarily dating related. I never quite followed the advice but with quite a number of nasty breakups under my belt, I now think that person was afterall right.
It’s always best to walk away. Less drama. Less enemies lurking about waiting to revenge if given an opportunity.
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I definitely always try to walk away with less drama and no enemies, but most of my break ups were not nice and easy so I totally agree you can’t date your ex again if it ends like that!
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