The past is just so tempting.
We find comfort in past relationships because at one point, they were very comfortable. Externally, we may forget about all of the bad things that occurred. We don’t really remember the cheating, the lying, the bad blood that pooled after the break up.
But internally, we never really forget. It sits in our minds, quiets the butterflies in our stomachs.
Some people do deserve a second chance. Some exes aren’t as bad as others. But after all is said and done – the honeymoon stage into the fighting into the break up – can you really forget about all the pain? Can you set aside that discomfort and date your ex again?
Sure you may love them a lot and they may make you happy, but the bad parts never really go away. They boil up again and again. Because if you catch him in a white lie, you’ll be reminded of all the other little white lies. The little lies that led to bigger lies, the lies that led to cheating. The things that left you heartbroken.
There’s just no such thing as a clean slate. You can’t wipe off the mess and expect it to be shiny and new again. It just doesn’t happen, sad memories will still reside.
In some ways, I’m sure you could get past those memories. If trust was slowly built up again, if a spark was gradually ignited. But to rush into dating your ex again will only result in the whole thing going up in flames. There’s no shame in taking things slow – especially after being hurt before.
Can you date your ex again? I don’t really know. But if you go at a snail’s pace and take your time, you might be able to spare some feelings while you’re trying to figure it out.