The trouble with people who are over-eager is that we are often over-everything. We are over-thinkers, we are over-dramatic, we over-romanticize, we are overwhelmed.
So getting too excited about things just comes with the territory. Because one small possibility opens up so many doors for us. We non stop think about how this could work out in the future or how it could go wrong. The thoughts basically consume us.
Over-eagerness in relationships is especially troublesome. In general, I think a lot of people are eager to fall in love. But while those people are very understanding to why things don’t work out or are calm, cool, and collected on dates – we are freaking out.
And it’s not because we fell head over heels in love on the first date – but because we can see all the possibilities. Because we are constantly thinking about the future and, when we meet someone, how they can become part of our future.
So we get a little over-eager. We want to send a thousand text messages. We want to tell them they’re a great kisser or how much fun we had like a million times. We want to hang out with them again right away. Because we are eager and straight forward and just have too much on our minds to not be that way.
But we scare people off, unfortunately. Because they’re just normal people who don’t overthink every single thing. Who don’t feel the need to rush. Who aren’t constantly worrying about the future.
When we try to hide our over-eagerness we often come off as not eager enough. We don’t want to scare you away, but we also don’t want you to think we don’t care.
Over-eager people just need to learn to embrace the crazy. Eventually you’ll meet someone who also embraces your crazy. Stay excited, tell people you care, but maybe dial it down two notches if you don’t want to chase away every first date.