It’s Okay To Not Be Over Your Past

We have to remember the past. It happened, it was there, and we just can’t forget about it. There are some people who live deeply in the past, some just a little, and some who just try to pretend it never happened.

But we never really fully get it out of our minds. The thoughts creep up to us when we’re trying to fall asleep at night or when we have a long drive home.

It’s okay though. It’s okay to live in your past every once in a while. To cringe at old memories, or cry at nostalgia, or smile at photographs. We can’t ever really escape it, we can only embrace it.

You don’t have to get over something just because someone told you to get over it. We all recover at our own pace. We all learn our lessons in time. You are allowed to not be over the past.

Because every time a relationship starts to form, I still feel old heartbreak. And every time I see old photos of people who have passed, I still feel sad.

I’m not over the past. No one is over the past and it’s okay. We’re consistently told we have to keep moving forward, look to the future, live in the present, forget the past. But we can’t do that. We can’t tell our brains to just stop thinking about things that have happened and we shouldn’t have to.

The past contains lessons we need, it brings up emotions that we can use in our present – that we need in our present. Without the past, there is no moving forward. There is no present.

It’s okay to not be over it because there’s a reason you’re still hanging on. You still feel residual heart break to remind you to be careful this time around. You still feel sadness because you are missing someone who used to be a big part of your life. You still get a slight smile because those memories were happy ones at the time.

You still feel these things because you’re not over it and maybe you’ll never be over it. As long as you turn the past into a positive path to your future, it’s okay to never get over it. Or to get over it in a couple months, or days, or years. We need those reminders in order to guide us through the future. We need the past.

20 thoughts on “It’s Okay To Not Be Over Your Past

  1. You are very right. Our past represents what we are today. If you try to get over it, we just have to forget about ourselves. Everything that happens in our lives is for our own good. And we do not have to reject it. Nice post!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. So true, by exploring and understanding the past it can help to heal the present and provide a brighter future!

    Who would really want to totally shut out past experiences that help shape who we are?

    Great post. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The past is a result of the decisions we made. Not all of them are great ones, but when it comes to people and relationships there seems to be an attitude of just ignoring it which I don’t feel does any good. It may be easy to shut out the past, but there is always a lesson to be learned that could help in the future.

    I enjoyed this post, and so does the me who woke up this morning thinking about some memories from a few months ago. Thanks for writing this.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for reading 🙂 I definitely agree that when it comes to relationships, I have tried to ignore the whole thing. But that really hurt me instead of helping me to grow and move on. I’ve been thinking a lot about the past too – I get pretty nostalgic in the summer haha

      Liked by 2 people

  4. And, really, we’re human… not machines. It’s just part of who we are. It’s how we attempt to process things. And sometimes there are certain things we’ll never get over. As long as we don’t allow those things to stop us from living now then that too is okay. It has to be. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I hear you loud and clear, and I had this very feeling last night. I just found out my ex’s new boyfriend has moved in with her, while I’m sat at home going through online profiles still thinking of her. It sucks, and sometimes it’s hard to see what to learn when, in my case, it finished so bizarrely!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It really blows my mind how quickly some people can get over a break up, I know exactly how you feel. You can take all the time you need to move on, I’m sure you’re much closer than you think to getting over her and learning from the past 🙂


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