Break ups are pretty much the worst. Whether you are the one initiating the break up or you are the one being broken up with.
In most cases, you don’t want to hurt the person that you’ve been in a relationship with – no matter how long it lasted. Special feelings are developed when you commit to someone. Sometimes those feelings develop more on one side than the other.
It’s no one’s fault. You’re not getting broken up with because you’re not good looking or not smart or not fun. It’s just not working out on one side of the relationship. And it sucks for the person doing the breaking up just as much as it does for the one who is getting broken up with.
Because as humans, we just don’t want to let people down. We don’t want to disappoint. But when I break up with someone, I feel all of that disappointment. I feel so sorry that I couldn’t make it work out. That I couldn’t fall in love with you the way you fell in love with me.
Is it our fault that we don’t feel as deeply as someone else? I think in some ways, you can limit yourself to opening up to a relationship or cause some riffs to just make it seem like the relationship should end. You make excuses for yourself.
But if you just can’t justify that person as being “the one,” then there’s not much you can do about it. The fair thing is to break up with them – even if that seems just so unfair.
The falling out of love and the break ups and the disappointment can easily make you afraid of relationships. Yes, of course, we all want to fall in love. But no, I definitely do not want to have to break up with someone again. I fear that even more than being broken up with at this point. Because at least if I’m being dumped, I can be disappointed in my partner. When I break up with someone, I feel their disappointment in me and my disappointment in myself.