Letting Fear Get In The Way of Living

Categories Relationships, , , , , , , , , , , , , , 26 Comments on Letting Fear Get In The Way of Living

I’m afraid of a lot of things. I’m afraid of sharks, I’ve devised a plan that if I ever came across one I would just let it eat me. I’m afraid of spiders, they make me actually scream like a little girl. I’m afraid of heights, more specifically I’m afraid of falling and dying.

But the chances of me coming across a shark are pretty rare. And my fear of spiders doesn’t keep me from going outside. I may hate heights, but I love the feeling of my stomach dropping when I fall.

You can’t let fear get in the way of living your life.

I think a lot of us have fears when it comes to relationships. Even when we’re over the past, we’re never really over it. We never forget the heart break or the awful feeling of breaking up with someone. We never forget the lows, we really never even forget the highs. And that makes us fear jumping in with someone new.

Because with every new relationship, there is the sting of an old one. Every teeny tiny similarity will make you shudder. She just got out of a relationship? Remember that one time you were a rebound? He has cheated on a past girlfriend? Remember when you got cheated on?

Every action in a new relationship will cause a reaction. And it’s okay, because these reactions should allow you to protect yourself. It’s okay to be a little afraid. But these reactions should not make you build a wall and retreat. It’s not okay to stop living because you’re afraid.

You shouldn’t deny yourself happiness just because of your past. You are letting old memories destroy your new ones. It’s just not fair to you. That someone who hurt you in your past, someone who clearly didn’t deserve you, is still causing you to be afraid of something new and exciting.

You can’t let fear get in the way of living in any aspect of life. Fear and excitement are two very similar emotions – embrace them, stop running away.

26 thoughts on “Letting Fear Get In The Way of Living”

  7. This a wonderful post. It is really hard starting from scratch again and there always those carry overs of pain and a bit of judgement. I think the best thing you can do, one you find someone u want to keep seeing is try not to judge them according to your ex. They’re their own person, not your ex. 🙂

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  10. Rosie, I always embraced life. I was the genuine adrenalin junkie, higher lower faster slower, but my relationships suffered as a result. I no longer have any contact with my daughter, I have 3 failed marriages and another heading down the toilet. If I could find someone to share my love of excitement and wonder, but the only ones who seem to share this are children and I don’t want to be accused of doing things I wouldn’t do. I have no life these days and it annoys me immensely. If only I could find the courage of my youth when life was THE big adventure and I grabbed it with both hands.

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    1. Even though you were not afraid of many big and exciting things, maybe you feared the littler things like settling down and forming relationships? I think if you push past that fear you could start mending things. I hope it all starts to work out for you soon!

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      1. Thank you Rosie, I was always afraid of falling but that never stopped me looking out over the rooftops or down at the sea. We can all work through our fears but the worst thing for me? Getting too old and frail to enjoy the high octane and vertigo has put a stop to everything else.

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  11. Fearing of something is deeply rooted to yourself and past more than you know. There are different aspects of fear that one encounters. It is ironic how complex fear is and it is much more difficult to unravel the meaning of fear. 🙂

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