Stop Expecting So Much From Others

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I have seen countless tweets/facebook statuses and heard tons of rants on people’s manners. Complaints about how someone didn’t say thank you after they opened the door for them or how people don’t answer “how are you” at the cash register.

I’m all for people using their manners, saying please and thank you, respecting each other – but there would be a whole lot less of complaints if you just stopped expecting so much from others. Be more concerned with what you expect from yourself than what you expect from others.

Don’t hold the door open for someone just so they say thank you, don’t ask how someone is with little or no care for how they really are. Be polite, always be polite, but don’t expect someone to always return the favor. Be happy that you did something nice and then shrug it off.

Because in all honesty – how can you really judge someone? Can you honestly recall your past and know that you’ve answered EVERY how are you and said thank you EVERY time someone held the door open for you? You were never on your phone or sidetracked or having a bad day or in a rush? Can you 100% say that you’ve never been the person you’re complaining about?

If you can’t, which I expect most of us can’t, then you need to give it a break. Consider other people’s situations before you call them rude or a bitch or an asshole. Stop getting SO angry over how other people react to things. They really don’t concern you and there is no point in getting angry and making someone feel bad over circumstances you just might not understand. Sure, sometimes they’re just impolite people – but let them be on their way. A simple action of someone else should not impact you enough or ruin your day enough that you need to post a status on facebook or bash someone in a tweet.

Try being understanding, stop expecting so much from others and expect more of yourself.

32 thoughts on “Stop Expecting So Much From Others”

  1. You had me at “… but there would be a whole lot less of complaints if you just stopped expecting so much from others…” 😉

    My grandmother has this saying, “You won’t be nearly as disappointed, if you lower your expectations.”

    I think our society has devolved in a lot of ways; people are so focused on themselves and not nearly as focused on others with respect to compassion. Today, I saw another blogger post a piece of advice saying, basically, “Compliment others”. And I thought that was so incredibly powerful, because you receive so much when you give.

    Someone didn’t hold a door open for you? So what, maybe they are dealing with the death of a loved one, maybe they just lost their job, maybe they don’t like you, it could be any number of reasons and people shouldn’t take things so personally.

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    1. Yes! I wrote a piece about judging less and complimenting more. We are just programmed to see the negative instead of looking for any kind of positive – we can’t get so upset over someone being a little impolite because we’ve probably done the same thing at some point in time and there might be a reason behind it that we’re unaware of.

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  2. Being courteous and polite are great ways to show you care. I still hold open the door for people of both genders. I am old school and call women ma’am and men sir. It’s just the right thing to do.

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  3. Someone once remarked that “manners maketh man” and I agree wholeheartedly with this. Having said that, I agree with you that there is little point in becoming angry regarding the lack of manners of others. I, certainly have been somewhat brusque in the past (which I bitterly regreted afterwards). As you say, I was having a bad day. Apart from it simply being “nice to be nice” a lack of manners can lead to people not securing that job they where after or some other prize. If you are rude to people dont be surprised if they dont bend over backwards to help you should you ever require their assistance. If a bloggger is helpful and/or polite to me I will remember and go the extra mile to help them should the opportunity arrise. Kevin

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    1. Yes, I agree. When a person is overall impolite, they shouldn’t expect much in return. But those of us who are polite also shouldn’t be expecting too much, though we are more likely to be treated politely in return. I’ve always regretted forgetting to say thank you or rushing and not holding the door. All we can really do is pay it forward.

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  4. I’m trying to do that. My roommate doesn’t say bless you EVER and for some reason that bugs me. Like if we’re the only two people in the room, I know you heard me. Also, we’re not good enough friends for social niceties to not matter anymore. It’s frustrating.

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  8. This was an awesome read. My advice to anyone dealing with another person (including myself) is always: have you stopped to consider what it is you bring to the table? A lot of the time we’re very unfair in our assessments.

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  9. I do get a little irked when people behave in a way that feels rude. I don’t expect cashiers always to be smiling or asking me about my day, but I do expect coworkers and friends to return a good morning or hold a door. If they don’t, it doesn’t ruin my day, but inside I do get a little perturbed.

    I’m learning to let it go. I was just raised to believe that not responding or acting in a certain way amounts to an insult and it’s hard to overcome that teaching. The best I can do now is to keep my opinions on it to myself, breathe, and move on.

    Good post 🙂

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  10. the whole AA way of thinking is expectations make us miserable. I have too high expectations of myself. Today the day is over and I haven’t had a chance to do what really makes me feel good

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  11. This is so true and it is honestly something I’m currently working on getting better at. I need to stop expecting so much from people. I really enjoy giving and being nice to people but it isn’t always reciprocated and I’ve realized that I will always be this way, so why let other people’s actions or miss-actions effect me? Thank you for this post :).

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  13. A timely reminder, I’m absolutely awful at expecting positive reactions from people, you know the ‘I smiled and said hello’ but didn’t get the same in return, so then I’m imagining ‘why doesn’t she like me?’

    I would guess sensitive people suffer most. Great Post.

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  16. Another great article. I often say, people’s lives are more complicated than we know, which makes our expectations unrealistic or unfair because we don’t know what they are dealing with.
    We can really saw ourselves a lot of stress if we just expect less from them.
    Glad I followed you 😀

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