What Love Isn’t

I don’t know what love is. I don’t know how to feel it, when it’s supposed to happen, or how you’re supposed to know. Every time I thought I was in love I ended up bitterly heartbroken, utterly confused, and pretty convinced that what just happened wasn’t actually love. All I know is what love isn’t.

Love isn’t sacrificing what truly makes you happy. It’s okay to be selfish sometimes and I don’t think you should have to give up the things that make you happy unless they’re destructive or hurting other people.

Love isn’t being obsessive. You don’t need to be with each other 24/7, text all the time, or go crazy thinking about them when you’re apart.

Love isn’t pain. It shouldn’t hurt that bad, you shouldn’t feel shattered all the time. That’s obsession or fear or addiction. Love is supposed to help put you back together.

Love isn’t easy. It’s just as complicated as every other emotion out there – if not more.

Love isn’t definite. You won’t always love the people who love you and vice versa.

Love isn’t definable. No one can really tell you what it feels like, when it’s supposed to happen, or how you’re supposed to know.

Love isn’t the same for everyone. Because every person is not the same.

Love isn’t a solution. It is definitely not going to solve all of your problems.

Love isn’t a fairytale. It will not always be like the romantic books you’ve read or the heart throb movies you’ve watched.

Love isn’t a one time thing. You can feel it over and over and over again if you’re open to it.

Love isn’t lust. Though the two can make a great relationship when paired together.

Love isn’t life. Loving yourself should be a priority over finding someone to love you.

When I don’t know what love is at all, at least I know what not to look for the next time around.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/questa/

26 thoughts on “What Love Isn’t

  1. I’ve heard an expression before (I’m probably misquoting it…), “Love is only something you can give, but never expect to receive.” It has some elements to it that I don’t like, and I grasp the idea that we all deserve love, but is it a pure love when it’s expected?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. No love is definitely not pain. It’s kindness and honesty and tenderness but it’s not supposed to be painful.
    Great definition and you’re right that even if you don’t know what it should be, knowing what it’s not is a good place to start.
    I followed your site

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I loved this one. This post basically points out everything I told my ex when we were breaking up. For him, he felt there should be this crazy passion and spark for him to feel in love. He also felt that we were suppose to work that it was suppose to be easy. I tried telling him all of this and he just dismissed it. Love is above all else a choice. You choose to be with a person and you choose to try and have a good healthy relationship. We don’t always choose who we love, but when it comes to being in a relationship that is a choice.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Definitely! These are things that I didn’t realize until long after a break up, so you’re very wise to have known to end your relationship because the love just wasn’t there. We all have these crazy notions of love and are always convincing ourselves it’s something its not.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I agree being joined at the hip all day all ‘night’, and texting when you’re apart is a mistake.

    But I disagree on one point, people should realise you may get hurt or they’ll never take the plunge. Is that fair?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Love is not what we expected it is. It is not what is portrayed on screen or what the media tells us. It is much more complicated with different variables comes in play. How we know that the love we have is true and genuine? That is something that we need to explore by ourselves. Whether what we had is pure is determined only by us. Much love.

    Liked by 1 person

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