If you were to ask me 5 years ago, when I was 18 years old, where I thought I’d be when I was 23 – I would have a whole plan to reiterate to you.
I wanted to be engaged the months following my college graduation, proposed to by the age of 22. I wanted a fall wedding or maybeΒ summer. And a year long engagement.
At 23, I would have already been married by now. Or my wedding would be coming up in the next few months.
I thought I would be living in a North Jersey suburb right outside the city, even though I don’t like North Jersey. And I would be working for an edgy, social media campaign in New York City – even though I don’t like the city.
I was supposed to have a dog and a pet pig. The mini pig was supposed to be a college graduation present. The dog would’ve come swiftly after.
I would be planning to have kids by the age of 27, two kids. One girl, one boy.
But now I’m 23, and everything about where I thought I’d be makes my head spin. I don’t want any of those things and I’m completely happy.
To be engaged after college would have been thoroughly stressful for me, between figuring out how to cope with the real world and finding a job. The last thing I ever would have wanted was to plan a wedding and commit myself to someone before I knew what the hell I was doing.
And even after landing a job, to get married within the first few months of working would have been insane. I wouldn’t have been able to afford living in the suburbs – not that I ever even wanted to! I was going to live and work in places I didn’t even like to make someone else happy. And now I live in the place I truly wanted to be and work at a job I love.
As much as I like dogs, I can barely take care of myself. And I’ve kind of figured out that mini pigs are so cute, but they come from breeders and there are so many homeless animals that would need my help first.
I don’t even want kids! I found out almost two years ago that I don’t like spending more than a couple of hours with them at a time, and I wanted TWO in a span of FOUR YEARS.
You can’t plan your future. You are always changing and circumstances are always changing – your plan for the next five years is merely a guideline. But it doesn’t always work out because who you are now and who you were then are two very different people, who have yet to experience certain things.
I’m not who I thought I’d be at 23 and I’m totally fine with it.
Good for you, we live and learn.
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Definitely π
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Be glad you didn’t get married that early. All the people I have ever met married that early have horrible marriages or divorces.
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Yea, I’ve seen the same thing happen! And if I had married the guy I thought I was going to marry, it would have crashed and burned lol
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I know my life was drastically different when I was 23 as compared to 18. Tremendously different. And then, 5 years after that, it was not anything that I thought I had planned. Now? Never had a clue I would be here… π
Growing up, my dad has a magnet on the fridge that said, “We plan, God laughs.”
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It’s so true! We change and our plans change so often, we’re never who we thought we’d be. All we can do is make the best of it π
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Yeah this is spot on! It’s better take it all as it comes, live each experience to the most and see where life takes you! It’s funny how you can have your mind set on something, only for it to change so quickly!
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So funny! It’s so much easier to go with the flow than have this very specific plan when you have little control over how your future will go
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My epiphany came at 25. I had a plan similar to yours. I did get married and have two kids now but they didn’t come until much later and it was just fine. π
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I think we face all this pressure to get married and have kids young, but we all do it in our own time π
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and that is totally cool too!
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π
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I meant this bit
Iβm not who I thought Iβd be at 23 and Iβm totally fine with it.
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#SAME
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Wow. You had more stuff figured out than I ever did at 18. Still, it’s like you say. Expectations change as we grow older. In a lot of ways, we’re never the same person as even a month ago, so I guess our plans can’t (and shouldn’t) ever be set in stone.
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Turns out, I had nothing figured out!
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Well, true. I should have said, “At least you had some kind of plan.” That might have been a better way for me to put it. π
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I started dating at 24, engaged at 25, married at 26, divorced by 43. Some life.
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Wow, did you plan to get married that quickly or it just worked out that way?
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Just worked out that way.
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I feel you so hard on the kids thing. I thought I wanted two kids in my 20s and now aI’m in my mid 30s and i’m in awe of anyone with more than one child. I think media had a lot to do with my perception of families.
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Same! Also growing up I had a lot of siblings. It just seemed the normal thing to do, get married and have kids. Not having kids never really seemed like an option
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I have to agree, I was not in the place I meant to be at 23. Nor at 25, at 29, or now at 31. We don’t know what life brings. And plans well, there is the saying about mice and men, which is completely true π
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Seems like we can plan all we want, but things will always go their own way π
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I think you just spoke for most women our age. This is exactly what I would’ve said at 18. Thank goodness it didn’t happen that way π
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Thank you! I am also grateful it didn’t turn out the way I planned haha
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I love this! I’ve never been much of a planner and yet there were definitely plans and hopes that have come and gone in terms of where I thought I’d be/who I thought I’d be. As much as I like lists and do want to make plans, I also want to go with the wind! π
~ Kat ~
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There are definitely some things we can control where lists come in handy, the future is not really one of those things π
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I think most people have that plan until it comes to actually doing it. It’s society’s plan….it’s not for everyone!
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Agreed! π
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True ..life is always changing and we alway have to live in present… But at the same time you have to own certain goals in life and go for them one at a time! π
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Definitely! We just have to be okay with the fact that they might not work out π
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If they didn’t work out then we never actually love those goals..i believe our goals are our dreams…we never have to give up on them… All we need is patience and perseverance… π
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