Once upon a time I got dumped and just did not know how to deal. I felt like I had failed the relationship, my boyfriend, myself. I thought I didn’t really deserve to fall in love again – like I had missed my chance.
And time and time again I was thrown into dating scenarios where everything I thought after that break up was confirmed. I was treated poorly. I treated people poorly. I had no sense of “I deserve better than this” or “I can be better.” I didn’t think those things, I accepted the insults and the cheating and the lies. I reciprocated them happily. I accepted the horrible treatment because I felt like a horrible person.
Even when I came around to realizing that I’m not a horrible person, the dating scenarios never changed. I became happier and better only to still not have the wholesome relationship that I had been missing ever since the initial break up.
But just because people treat you poorly, it doesn’t mean you deserve it. If you want happiness, happiness will find you. But if you accept those sucky people and their half assed love, that’s all you’ll keep getting.
You don’t have to settle. I know it kind of gets to a point where you assume all people are just bad people and you’ll never have a good relationship – but that’s not the case. There are unicorns. There are people who will prove all of your other relationships wrong. They are the ones that will show you what you deserve. And it’s just around the corner if you stop giving the bad people a shot just because you’re lonely. It’s hard, we cling to the people who give us attention. We cling even harder to the people who give us the attention then cruelly snatch it away.
But no matter who you are, what you have done, or where you have been – stop accepting the bad love that you think you deserve. You deserve better.