Don’t Make Me Feel Crazy

Women are called crazy, like a lot.

In a lot of cases, but not all, men make us crazy.

I’ve embraced my little insane side, I have embraced that there are things that grind my gears and that I’ll blow up at. It doesn’t matter what gender you are – we all have a little bit of crazy in us.

One of the things that drives me nuts in a relationship is when you feel there is a problem, but your partner doesn’t see it. They act like you’re making it up in your head. You took the time to express something that made you unhappy and they just shrug it off as you being crazy.

An example of this is when there is cheating in a relationship or some kind of mistrust. One person senses the weirdness, the other one insists that nothing is going on. You become convinced that you are just creating problems in your head. That disconnect will drive you crazy.

But an argument like this can happen at any time over any thing. Even if there isn’t mistrust or cheating or a miscommunication – shrugging off an argument can occur at any time.

Don’t make your boyfriend or girlfriend feel like they’re crazy. Acknowledge their concerns and address them the best you can. Because when you make them seem minimal or see them as made up – your relationship will take a hit. If someone feels that something is wrong, even if it’s so out there or so small, there is something wrong to them. And you need to make them feel better about it.

Don’t call us crazy. Don’t make us feel like our problems don’t exist. Relationships take communication and work. Even if you don’t see what they see, you need to start learning how to try to feel what they feel.

hc
photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/deanaia/

 

33 thoughts on “Don’t Make Me Feel Crazy

  1. I used to see it that way too – like men were responsible for “bringing the crazy out.” And no doubt, we are all capable of triggering the worst in one another. But looking back, I can honestly say on all cases, I was bringing my own crazy out based on my thoughts and sometimes assumptions, and by being around people who I clearly didn’t want to be around but felt I had no choices. I try to check my own crazy now and in all cases, I feel better for it. For controlling my emotions whenever possible. That’s really the only thing within my control – not what someone else is doing.

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    1. I think we do bring up things in our head a lot, but it’s up to our partner to calm those concerns not make us feel insecure and crazy for sharing something that’s making us upset. It can get out of hand, but that usually stems from something else not just a relationship argument

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      1. If we rely on anyone else to give us reassurance, or make us feel secure about things we may or may not be conjuring in our heads, we become a burden to them and we always wind up disappointed. 1 – because it’s not really their job (of course if there’s a real identifiable issue, it should be discussed), and 2 – it’s beyond our control. Sometimes they might feel like doing it, and sometimes they may not. It’s a jolting thing to learn, but beneficial.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. If it’s a concern within your relationship you should burden your partner, if they don’t want to deal with it then maybe you need to reflect on your personality and on your relationship. I think your partner should always be willing to help if it’s a problem that can be solved together.

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  2. Yeah, I’ve been driven crazy, and then a few miles past that. And when your baseline is anger, it doesn’t take much to set the fuse smoldering.

    I don’t think I’ve given up ALL hope of having my concerns acknowledged, but I’m not holding my breath either.

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  3. Sometimes we really are just nuts, but it annoys me so much that the “Crazy girlfriend” myth persists so much. Yes, I act irrational sometimes when my emotions are running high and that may or may not be a direct result of my husband’s actions or words… but I have also had to deal with my share of “crazy” men. Crazy boyfriends deserves just as much air play as crazy girlfriends. …and yes, I agree, though I don’t think it is your partners “job” to ease your feelings or calm you or whatever; a healthy relationship does at least have the parties acknowledging the other person’s feelings or concerns as legitimate, whether they agree or not. It’s not ok to just jump to the “you’re just being crazy” card.

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  4. Call it crazy and the man feels happy he was not the nutty one.
    Yup it is an attitude we men need addressing.
    Never us always you. Grin (is that not what women also complain about the most. we men always say/use this)

    But in the end it is better to be crazy and at least have the most fun. 😉

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  5. Couple of things. I definitely think there is a stigma associated with woman and being crazy. I think most of it just draws back to us being more emotional and communicative. I find that a lot of the time men write you off as being crazy rather than dealing with problems that occur. Men seem to declare woman “crazy” when a woman is concerned about something going on in their relationship. Whereas I feel like a lot of the time when men have the same issues we them called “angry ” or “upset”. I find people only give them that “crazy” title if they are abusive or they are legitimately mentally unstable.

    I can’t really speak to too many love relationships, but I live with a sibling and every time I voice my concerns about something we end up in a argument and I get called “ridiculous” which to me is pretty close to being called crazy. It basically invalidates any feelings I had. Nor is there any type of effort to understand how I am feeling or make any type of compromise.

    As far as being paranoid or feeling something isn’t right. I think this comes from changed behaviors. I find that sometimes people lie about the dumbest stuff and it’s usually not anything that bad but because they didn’t tell me in the first place it just gets harder and harder to explain. So when I do get up the nerve to ask about my suspicions the person doesn’t want to admit anything. But eventually you find out and even though the thing they were lying about wasn’t hurtful the fact that you weren’t worth the truth is hurtful. And then it’s cyclical after that. Once trust is lost is really hard not to pick up on those changed behaviors it’s like your a bloodhound. I’ve never really experienced where someone said no there’s nothing going on and there was really nothing going on. But I can tell you it really sucks after you voice your concerns about mistrust and the person continually lies.

    Loved this post really got me thinking!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awesome, thank you! I totally agree with everything you’ve said here! Women are very different than men and more communicative. You’re so right that if they were upset that’s what we would call them, upset not crazy. We only call them crazy if they’re actually crazy haha.

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