Staying Independent In A Relationship

Relationships can be scary to independent people. Because by committing to someone, it almost seems as though you have to let go of your independence. Your freedom, your strength, your ability to be alone will all go down the drain.

Independence is something you worked hard for. You picked yourself, dusted yourself off, and learned to do things on your own. Emotionally and physically, you have learned not to lean on anyone. It takes a huge amount of growth to be that independent. It takes hard work, time, and stability.

But entering a relationship does not mean that you have to lose that independence.

It’s true you are not so alone anymore. You may have a little less freedom, but it’s not something you’re going to miss. And none of your hard work will go to waste if you’re with someone who truly appreciates your independence.

Yes, you can do it all on your own. You’re a survivor, a warrior, you are independent. But you don’t have to do it alone anymore.

You can keep your independence, but life doesn’t have to be as hard. It does not all rest on your shoulders. In a relationship, someone else is offering to carry a little bit of the weight of the world for you. It’s not because you need help or because you’re weak, it’s because they care.

They want what’s best for you and they’ll let you keep your independence. But they’ll also offer you a helping hand from time to time. Taking that hand does not admit weakness, it shows strength. You have the ability to trust someone with things that you previously only trusted yourself with. And that is a huge step, to have faith in someone other than yourself.

It’s easy to think that you are the only person you can depend on in this world, but when you are in a relationship you can begin to depend on someone else just a little – just when things are starting to get too heavy. You can be independent in a relationship, but you don’t have to tackle the world all on your own.

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12 thoughts on “Staying Independent In A Relationship

  1. I agree with everything you wrote here. But trust me, it is MUCH easier said than done. I recommend having discussions early and often in a relationship about needs and boundaries.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m far from feeling like an independent person in general, but in my relationship, I don’t think we’d have made it to 10 years together if we hadn’t let each other have some space to be themselves every now and again.

    I think so many people see independence as going out alone – you’ve described it so well here and shown that it doesn’t have to mean that at all!

    Liked by 1 person

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