All I ever see these days is how people hate the “talking” phase of a relationship. I hear baby boomers diss us for not knowing how to date and millennials despising their almost-relationships.
Meanwhile, I’ve skipped the “talking” phase all together and have gone straight to dating. Because going on dates isn’t a commitment. There is still no pressure, it is still an almost relationship, but there are no real rules.
Because believe it or not, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. And if you don’t want to spend two months subtly snapchatting your crush, passively liking their instagrams, and only texting when you’re drunk – then don’t. If you want more, ask for more. Balls up and go out to dinner or get coffee or see a movie. Guy or girl, make the first move.
Anyone who reacts poorly to your first move or your detour from the “talking” phase is not the person for you. Trust me, you want someone who wants what you want. And if they want to putt around and put things on hold and not assign any sort of label to anything – even though casually dating is not a label – then they need to be kicked out of your life anyway.
And getting ghosted is awful, but so is getting rejected. If the person can’t be straight up with you, then they aren’t for you. If they rejected you, then they’re still not for you. It’s not a great feeling but it opens you up to move on.
Dating as a millennial doesn’t have to suck. There are plenty of people in relationships who skipped that “talking” phase you hate so much. Just stop calling it that and go on a first date and assess if you even like each other in real life! I’m sure “talking” works great for some people, but if you’re not one of those people then ditch it.
You don’t have to follow any rules, you can message first on Bumble and it won’t be weird. You can text her on a Monday morning even though you texted her last. Double text them if you have to. It will be okay. If you hate a certain part of dating, then change your rules and make it work for you.
Rosie Culture 
“Balls up…” Hahaha. Nice!
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Tried to think of a nicer expression but couldn’t, oh well lol
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I’ve heard of nut up, but never ball up. It gets the point across… 🙂
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I like that, changing the rules and doing how you want it to be. Awesome
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Thank you 🙂
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❤️
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YES, I agree with you completely!! I think people are way too negative about dating sometimes and should totally realize they’re dodging a bullet if they get ghosted or something… Who wants to date someone who can’t communicate well anyway?! 😛 Great post, Rosie!
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Right! I can understand that dating is hard, but if people are doing things you don’t like you can make it a lot easier for yourself and just move on lol
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Yes, exactly!!!
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The “talking” phase…?
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what some people call the phase before dating
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I didn’t know there was a phase before dating… unless we’re talking online dating here?
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Any kind! Basically just a flirty stage where everything is very unclear and you haven’t gone on a date yet – like what happens with online dating where you strike up a conversation for days or weeks before meeting. I mention it here: “And if you don’t want to spend two months subtly snapchatting your crush, passively liking their instagrams, and only texting when you’re drunk – then don’t. If you want more, ask for more.”
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Gotcha. I must say though I’ve never heard of anyone mentioning/complaining about it before.
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It’s a bigger thing for like 16-21 year olds who might not be serious about dating yet
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Haha and that would be why.
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I’m right there with you. I can’t stand the talking phase and I jump right to the “Let’s hang out” phase. I don’t see why things have to be so complex. It takes the fun out of it!
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yes! totally agree
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Good advice Rosie. Very sound. You just got to get out there and see, be honest with each other. Don’t waste each others time playing games. Getting there myself. Best of luck!
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Thank you! Good luck to you!
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