All I ever see these days is how people hate the “talking” phase of a relationship. I hear baby boomers diss us for not knowing how to date and millennials despising their almost-relationships.
Meanwhile, I’ve skipped the “talking” phase all together and have gone straight to dating. Because going on dates isn’t a commitment. There is still no pressure, it is still an almost relationship, but there are no real rules.
Because believe it or not, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. And if you don’t want to spend two months subtly snapchatting your crush, passively liking their instagrams, and only texting when you’re drunk – then don’t. If you want more, ask for more. Balls up and go out to dinner or get coffee or see a movie. Guy or girl, make the first move.
Anyone who reacts poorly to your first move or your detour from the “talking” phase is not the person for you. Trust me, you want someone who wants what you want. And if they want to putt around and put things on hold and not assign any sort of label to anything – even though casually dating is not a label – then they need to be kicked out of your life anyway.
And getting ghosted is awful, but so is getting rejected. If the person can’t be straight up with you, then they aren’t for you. If they rejected you, then they’re still not for you. It’s not a great feeling but it opens you up to move on.
Dating as a millennial doesn’t have to suck. There are plenty of people in relationships who skipped that “talking” phase you hate so much. Just stop calling it that and go on a first date and assess if you even like each other in real life! I’m sure “talking” works great for some people, but if you’re not one of those people then ditch it.
You don’t have to follow any rules, you can message first on Bumble and it won’t be weird. You can text her on a Monday morning even though you texted her last. Double text them if you have to. It will be okay. If you hate a certain part of dating, then change your rules and make it work for you.