A response to my very old series called I’m Glad It Didn’t Work Out, view part one here, a series about endings. This will be a series focused on beginnings.
I think the very first time we met was freshman year of college, but I can’t put my finger on when. It could’ve been in class, I could’ve strolled past you in the cafeteria, maybe bumped in to you at a party.
Truth is, I think we’ve had our first meeting so many times because we never let it get deeper than a “hello.”
I know I had a class with you, I remember you giving presentations about your blog project. But I also remember being entirely wrapped up in my own world. Because when I was a freshman, I had a boyfriend and gave almost no one the time of day. And when we had this class together, I was a junior and gave all the wrong people the time of day.
Then we met again. Because our friends became friends and then we sort of became friends. And I was still wrapped up in my own world. We were all graduating college soon, life was about to change and I was ready for it but not ready for it. You tried to pull me in, and like anyone that resembled any sort of serious commitment at first glance, I ran far away.
And we met again, at homecoming a couple of months after graduation. You told me all about your girlfriend and I hit on your best friend. Oops. But you were a friend of a friend of a friend and I told you I was happy for you.
We met again in the online world. You tweeted at me a lot and I thought it was weird. You still resembled that commitment I just couldn’t quite make. I was getting older though, growing out of the people I should’ve never grown into. I got drunk and slid into your DM’s.
The first time we met, not as friends of friends of friends, I almost ran you over in the parking lot because I seriously was not paying attention. I also paid for parking in a garage that was free after 5pm. And then I ordered a tuna burger and there was just juices and seeds and tuna all over my hands and face. Then it started to rain and we went to the bar and you ordered a beer, I got a water, and you felt so bad that I didn’t get a drink too.
And when we both started to think that everything was going wrong, we turned the whole night around. We met many times in the past 5 years. But the awkward smiles and polite conversation we endured was just for the time being. Because when I was ready and you were ready, we met again and it was perfect.