I have often tried to forget about fragments of time in my life. I blurred out most of high school, can barely remember middle school, because I just wanted to move on. I wanted to shed my skin and start all over. I wanted to do it better this time.
When I went to college, I tried to find myself. I explored and went out of my comfort zone. I wanted to be the best version of myself, I wanted to know what I was capable of.
During that exploration, I kind of lost myself. It was the opposite of what I wanted to do, but maybe it was what I needed. A wake up call came when I graduated college and had to figure out who I was outside of the sorority, laid back, college life.
That’s when I realized I’ll always be who I was at 16. I can’t just shed skin after skin after skin and expect to start over. I can’t completely forget middle school, high school, and college and try to become a new person again.
I didn’t need to find myself, I already knew who I was. I just needed to build upon it. Every experience, every version of yourself is just a brick to the building. It makes up who you are. So even though I’m not 16 years old, that high school brick still takes up a part of me. I still rock out at concerts and write in a journal and get really shy sometimes.
And even though college is over, that buckwild 21 year old brick still makes up who I am. I can still go out and have fun, nap all day, and get a little dramatic.
It’s time to stop denying the past, because your past makes you who you are. Every ex-boyfriend, every girl fight, every failing grade, and dumb mistake was a lesson. You are learning and becoming the best version of yourself every day, brick by brick. I’ll always be who I was at 16 and I’m starting to love that.