I grew up being very shy and dependent. I was probably in my late teens before I could even order my own meal at a restaurant, I would always whisper it in my mom’s ear first. I didn’t think I could do anything new on my own, I was terrified at the thought.
The first time I ate alone was when I was a freshman in college, I went to the cafeteria by myself because no one was answering their phones and I was getting so frustrated with making friends. I sat by myself and a couple of kids asked me to eat with them, they ended up being kind of creepy, and I didn’t feel empowered at all. I just felt like a loser.
But not being able to do things on your own is such a debilitating fear. I missed out on plenty of things I wanted to do just because I couldn’t find anyone to go with me.
So I started forcing my hand. I would buy two tickets to a concert or one airplane ticket for a weekend trip, I left it up to fate if someone would end up going with me. And I wasn’t afraid to do it on my own. Why waste time and experiences by being dependent on someone else?
This weekend, I spent the day in Philadelphia – a place I’ve been to many times before. I went with my boyfriend, but he had plans that I wasn’t really interested in. So while he was busy, I went off on my own. I ate lunch by myself and then saw a movie by myself. I took a walk by myself and just reveled in doing something by myself that wasn’t laying in bed and watching Netflix.
If you own it, it’s eye opening and empowering to do the things you enjoy by yourself. The key to your happiness shouldn’t be in someone else’s pocket and you need to learn how to unlock it yourself before depending on other people. I encourage you to spend a day on your own, learn about yourself, and just have fun.