That Was So Long Ago

Are you one of those people that sometimes stays up until 2 AM and thinks about that really embarrassing time that you jumped off the swings in preschool and everyone saw your teddy bear underwear?

I am and that’s a true story.

I think about the sad, bad, embarrassing moments a lot of the time and work myself into an anxiety about it. I’ll stay awake until the sun rises over something that happened years ago.

And I wonder why I’m even thinking about it or why it still matters, but I am and it does. Even though I can’t do anything about it now.

I can’t do anything about it now. That’s what I tell myself every night when I’m thinking too much or on my drive home from work when I had a bad day. It’s time to start over, it’s time to wipe the slate, its time to forget about it and try harder tomorrow.

Sometimes I get anxiety when ex boyfriends try to contact me. Because every single relationship ended badly and every single guy reminds me of that. But why does it matter? Why do I care? It was so long ago. I can’t do anything about it now.

And that’s my mantra to my anxiety. It was so long ago. I can’t do anything about it now. It doesn’t always work, but I’m learning not to sweat the little things or the little people.

It was so long ago that I dated that frat boy and made a fool out of myself. It was so long ago that I shut out my family in high school. It was so long ago that I slipped and fell in the middle of the student center during the lunch rush. It was so long ago, I can’t do anything about it now. I can only try to grow and be better.

hc
Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/acousticskyy/

10 thoughts on “That Was So Long Ago

  1. Ah yes…fretting over the past! I’m a master of that…lol
    I think you’re right though, nothing you can do to change what’s been, only make decisions now based on your knowledge of the past.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is really what I needed to see today! Why do old memories and exes feel like they need to pop up when they want?! My ex doesnt remind me of the breakup, he just wanted to know “how i found love after” bahahha barf. That is something you dont ask an EX GF! And those memories well now i just laugh about them cause thats all you can do. Without having anxiety. I hope you dont stay up worrying anymore but coming from someone who does too i know you will. Just try to remember all those things aint worth having bags under the eyes unless they are designer 😂😂😂
    Thank you for writing this cause it is something im really glad i saw 🌷💕🎉

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I am the same way. I am anxious over everything. When I was little I thought I was the only person who worried that much. Sometimes its grounding and comforting to know you’re not the only one. But sometimes you have to remind yourself that little insignificant things feel so much bigger in your head, and that’s just the anxiety talking. Like you said, don’t sweat the small stuff. Acknowledge the thought and then let it pass through you and let it go. Hang in there girl!

    Liked by 1 person

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