Friendships in Your 20’s

One thing no one prepared me for was how different friendships become after you leave college. In college, you live with your best friends. You eat with them, go everywhere with them, you rely on them like family. Then *poof* graduation comes and you all have to separate.

It’s hard to get on the same schedule after that. It’s hard to see each other, make commitments to each other, and stay in touch. It’s hard to keep that family type of feeling alive because you’re relying on other people now.

It kind of feels like things start to fall apart because you were so used to knowing everything about someone and now you only get to see them once a month. Friend dynamics change. You make new ones, old ones fall off the map, and some friendships start to take priority over others.

Effort is required on both ends to keep a friendship going and it’s frustrating when you don’t live near each other and more effort is being put in on one side and none on the other. I think friendships in your 20’s means sometimes we just have friends who are there for a good time, not the hard times. And we can’t put all our care into those friendships anymore.

It’s fine to keep those people around for the good times, but we can’t get upset when they don’t reciprocate the care we show. Then there truly are friends who are in it for the long haul. Friends who you only see once every 3 months, only text once a month, who you can still turn to at the end of a long day even though it feels like you’ve been strangers for a while.

Friendships in your 20’s is all about putting yourself and those who care first and leaving the rest as a secondary thought. We’re growing up, we can’t put all our time and energy into people who don’t do the same for us. It’s sad, but it’s time to move on.

Capture
Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/photos/emilio_k/

27 thoughts on “Friendships in Your 20’s

  1. I think it depends on the friends too. My best friends are still my college friends and I am MUCH older. We went through periods where one of us may have not been able to travel as much due to family obligations or jobs so we made the effort to go to them. Then when they were in a better place they came to us. No matter what we try to get together all of us at least once a year. Last year it was with me for my birthday. This year who knows as three of our kids are graduating from high school but we will figure it out! It takes work on all sides and some understanding. Twenty-five years later I can say I am glad I am still friends with these people who know me better than anyone.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is so great! My college friends are my forever friends too, but it’s hard to grasp that I will soon have to accept that I can only see them once every few months and I’m sure in a few years I’ll only be able to see them once a year. Still, if everyone puts in the work you can stay good friends like you and yours πŸ™‚

      Like

  2. I can relate to the post. After school got over I haven’t been in a good time friendships ,you know.
    I will be graduating soon this year, I hope that my grad. friends will stay in touch.
    But we are our own friend. And we could discover more then.
    Sending positive vibes..

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Now that I am in my (late) 40s, I can tell you that some friendships last forever. I have had the same two best friends since junior high school and high school. It takes an effort for us to get together, but we seem to manage it now and again.
    When we do, it is like no time has passed.
    Fortunately, we are getting together tomorrow.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Am expecting another post like this I just read. You really make my day reading this one.
    friends are always good in what them do in our life.

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    Peace and Love

    Liked by 1 person

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