When I say I don’t want kids, everyone says: “you’ll change your mind!” or “you’re still young!” or “are you sure?”
Yes, I’m sure.
It’s one of the first things I told my boyfriend and reminded him of almost monthly to make sure he was okay with it too. Because I won’t change my mind, I really don’t want them.
If I’m being honest, it’s mostly because I’m selfish. I value my time, my sleep, my freedom, and the money I make to spend on my lifestyle. I know kids are great, I have nieces and a nephew who I love to spend time with and spoil, but I don’t have to dedicate my whole life to them. And I don’t want to do that with kids of my own.
Even adopting a dog has been a lot more responsibility than I had imagined for myself. I always vowed to never get a puppy because of the time and effort it takes. Luckily, we adopted my dog at 1 year old and potty trained – but she is still a lot to take!
Maybe (and this is a big MAYBE), when I’m 20 years older and feeling like my youth is spent, I would look into fostering or adopting. But that’s way down the road and not something I really need to put a lot of weight into right now.
I’m young and everyone expects women to have kids by their early thirties. For me, that’s less than 10 years away and a big N O. In the next 10 years I want to move out of state, I want to travel the world, I want to adopt another dog, maybe get married and maybe buy a house with chickens in the backyard. But I definitely don’t want kids.
They say my generation is opting out of having kids. If you do want them – that’s great! If you don’t – that’s also great! Make sure you have a plan for your future, that you discuss feelings with your significant other, and know that things can change. But always stick to your instincts. My generation has a lot of reasons to not have kids. We’re in debt. We haven’t even settled at a stable job yet. We can’t afford to buy a house. But the only reason I really need is that I just don’t want them.
Thank you sooo much for sharing this! I’m in the exact same boat as you and so over hearing the same things. I really wish there were more girls writing about this. X
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I definitely feel like a lot of women feel this way, everyone else needs to get on board with us not wanting kids because it’s not that weird lol
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I feel like a lot of women fell that way.
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I’m still on the fence. With my ex, it wasn’t a question: we were going to have kids (thank God that didn’t happen!), but now, my fiance shows no interest and I, like you, have plans of traveling and spoiling myself with the hard-earned money I make. Maybe in 10 years time, I will grow out of being so selfish, but it’s okay if I don’t too!
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Definitely!! I’m a little on the fence for the future, but for the next ten years it’s a no wayyyyy
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Reblogged this on slightly charming.
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Thanks for reblogging 🙂
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I’m not sure if I want kids, and everyone keeps telling me that I’ll change my mind. Granted, I’m 24, incredibly single, and still live at home, but I’m just not to keen on kids. I can see myself with a million dogs and cats, but kids, not sure. I don’t know what I want to do with my life, and I’m not sure if kids will hinder some things I want to do (not sure if that sounds really bad or not). But thanks for sharing this. It’s nice to know I’m not the only female who feels this way.
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It doesn’t sound bad! Kids are serious work and require you to give up a big part of your life – if you want them, it won’t feel like giving anything up, but if you don’t you’re really sacrificing a lot. I’m 25 and almost in the same boat as you, maybe in like 10 years I can reevaluate but I don’t even know if I want a long term commitment like marriage let alone kids lol
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Stand strong in it! People are learning to respect singles as well as families without kids more – which is the same as saying, they’re learning to be less judgmental about such things. Do what feels right to you. Having a kid is a ridiculous amount of responsibility. Why should culture, family, or friends pressure people into doing things that aren’t right for them?! Know what you want and live it out!
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Yes definitely!! I definitely have no apologies about not wanting them
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Back in the day it was expected to marry young and have kids shortly after. These days there are options and lots of choice. Do what is best for you.
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I’m so glad people are exploring their options now!
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I remember the first time I heard that not having kids was even an option. I suddenly felt like I had all the time in the world to do what i wanted. After helping take care of five siblings (from both sides of my parents; they split and had my siblings with other people), I’m totally done with sippy cups, potty training, tantrums, dropping them off and picking them up, and now as teens the back talk and attitude. If having a kid was a 2 year commitment, hmm, maybe I’d instill some wisdom and I think 4-5 year olds are pretty cute, but there’s no way I could handle that commitment forever.
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Yes same!! I grew up wanting a family then hit 21 and I was like no way I can commit to that. I’ll stick to being an awesome aunt
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Times have changed. I think if you have kids when you don’t want to, everyone loses. You and the kids. I’m sure 1,000’s of women didn’t want kids in the 60/70/80’s but it was not the norm.
Always keep your options open like you said. There are more ways to have kids than giving birth. ❤️
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great message to share! not everyone wants kids 😊
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good for you. It is not written law that you have to have children, Enjoy your life
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There are already more than enough people on the planet! Content like this is so important, we should respect any personal choice a woman makes!
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Right?! Thank you I agree! ☺️
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YOU DO YOU! 🙌🏼🙌🏼 It is completely your choice!
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Girl, yes! I’m on the fence, slightly leaning toward no, but my thing is, if i do decide to, it’s going to be because I want to, not because I feel like I have to or because that’s what’s “supposed to” come next.
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Yes same! Or because people are pressuring me to change my mind
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Gosh YES! I don’t want them either & no, I won’t change my mind. I remind my boyfriend every month, too. He says he’s okay but I worry he’s lying.
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I laid it all out like SERIOUSLY I will never give you children so you need to be okay with it now or we need to break up because I don’t want you to not have children just to make me happy
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YES! That’s exactly what I say all the time. I would rather have him be happy with someone else then just be unhappy to make me happy.
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People can be extremely annoying and rude about this.
I also don’t want to have kids. Ever. When I imagine my future it’s just not something that I see. It’s a valid decision for anyone to make and it’s so aggrevating when people tell me “you’ll change your mind”.
Luckly my boyfriend doesn’t fancy kids either. However, we’ve been together for quite a few years now, so I’ve often been asked whether we are alreay planning…
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Yesss it’s so annoying. Everyone just assumes you’re going to have them, I can’t count the amount of times someone has said “just wait until you have kids” to me like I don’t have to wait cause I’m not having them 🤷🏻♀️
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Better to know than not. I never wanted children and never did. I am fifty and I never regretted it.
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Thank you for sharing your experience! 🙂
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I’d like kids when I’m older but I’m 24 and still feel really young. 24 IS young. So I was shocked when a few months ago my mum (who is really liberal and cool) started asking when I was going to have babies since ‘I’d been with Sean for years, surely it’s time?’ Grr, patience woman!
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24 is young!! Times have changed
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I never wanted kids growing up.
And then somewhere along the way, I think after a bulk of my friends started having kids I was like “yeah maybe.” And then somewhere a little further along I was like “I’m gonna have THREE!” I don’t know what possessed me at that point! 💁♀️
But fate decided that I would have one. And I’m gonna be that person who says “you don’t know love until you’ve had a child” because it’s true. Least for me. That said, we are ONE AND DONE. I seriously don’t know how people have more than 1! Like there is still a selfish part of me that’s like “I already have one kid taking away from my Uggs and vacation funds, I’m not adding another.” Occasionly I do get baby fever & I entertain the idea of another but then I remember how LONG that first year was and how long potty training took and I’m like nah 💁♀️ we’re on the road of basic care freedom. No thanks.
But yes the pressure to have kids- plural, and young in unreal. It’s almost like having 1 kid is a theft and no kids is like murder. Let people live how they want to live. Believe me, I envy my single kid-less friends regularly for being able to go out and just do whatever. So from the other side… ENJOY IT. FOR AS LONG AS POSSIBLE. There are so many things I’ve had to postpone doing because I have a kid who takes priority.
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It’s crazy that even once you have a kid everyone is like “when’s the next one?!” lol everyone needs to slow their roll a bit
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Definitely!
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You’re absolutely right! It’s your decision to have kids or not and I have the same disposition. I didn’t want kids in my twenties and now that I’m in my thirties I know I made the right decision. You’re not selfish for wanting to enjoy your youth. That’s normal. It’s terrible how we as women have such pressure to have 2-4 kids by the age of 35. In the mean time our youth, energy and bodies are never the same. I do believe that having children is a blessing from God, however raising children in this wicked world is challenging. Like you said, it’s important to have a plan and to communicate with your significant other. Proverbs 21:5 says, “The plans of the diligent surely lead to success,But all who are hasty surely head for poverty.” I commend you for taking a mature stance based on your circumstances. The pressure to conform to societal norms will only grow as you get closer to 30 and beyond.
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Thank you! It’s so nice to hear from someone who felt the same as me and never regretted it. I feel like the pressure is insane now but everyone says it just gets worse!
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