Our two year anniversary of dating is next week! For a reflection of what I learned after one year, click here.
I learned a lot about myself when I was single, I’ve never been one to jump from serious relationship to serious relationship. I think self exploration can be done in a relationship, it’s just harder. The first year of our relationship involved a lot of learning curves for me, I had been single and independent for a long time and was badly burned after my last relationship. As we approach our two year anniversary, I was given more time for self exploration and growth. Here’s what I learned after two years of being in a relationship.
- It’s okay to be afraid of big steps. We moved in together, we got a dog, I freaked out. But that’s okay.
- Nothing has changed, communication is HUGE. If you are freaking out, you need to tell your partner. They should understand, they should be the one who is able to help you.
- Make time for your friends. There are just some things your boyfriend will never understand. It’s important to have at least one other person to confide in.
- Things will easily start to get boring in the relationship. The simple thing to do most nights is to plop on the couch and watch Netflix. Put in the effort, switch things up, don’t let it get mundane.
- It’s normal to have relationship doubts. Some people just have a harder time settling than other people. If you know yourself, you should know when your doubts are valid or not.
- Alone time is still very important.
- The longer you’re with someone, the more you think about the future. And the more the future becomes about “us” and not “me”.
- No one is as perfect as they look on social media. We bicker – a lot. It’s healthy.
- At the end of the day, love isn’t Romeo and Juliet and dying for someone. It’s choosing to be with the person who you like spending time with – every day with – who you don’t actually hate ever.
- Take everything at your own pace. It may seem like you NEED to follow the steps of getting engaged, moving in together, getting married, and having kids. But just because that’s the normal plan doesn’t mean it’s your plan.
Let me know how long you’ve been in a relationship for and your biggest piece of advice in the comments! 🙂
Rosie Culture 
#10- yes!
My advise is to not get ‘programmed’ into saying ‘I love you.’ Don’t say it just because you’re ending a phone conversation or leaving for work. Say it because you mean it. And say it in other ways too. Instead, say things like ‘I adore you’ and ‘I appreciate you’.
Also, remember to always be kind to one another. After spending so much time together, one or the other is bound to have a bad day. It’s important to remember not to take out your feelings on you SO. You’re supposed to be a team, not each others’ punching bags.
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GREAT ADVICE! I love the way you explained that. I say “I love you” a lot less now and it’s not because I love him any less but because it begins to lose it’s meaning when you say it just to say it. Thank you for sharing!
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My wife and I have been together since 1993, married since 1996. Some advice? Always fight fairly, never go to bed angry, say “I love you” frequently, and learn to compromise. My wife and I love each other very much, like life changing soul mate kinda love. But we still go through rough patches. Work it out. Don’t hold grudges, and talk, talk, talk.
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Thank you for sharing 🙂 It’s so important for people to know these days that everyone fights, no one is perfect. It takes work, but remembering these little things can make it easier.
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Yep. Show me a relationship without disagreement and I’d say it’s one without passion. Even the best relationships ebb and flow. Just gotta remember that it’s worth working through those ebbs.
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Yes to all of this, especially #10! We have been together 10.5 years and married for just over 2 WEEKS we definitely did things at our own pace, ha!
Your own space, own hobbies, just sharing the fun together – smile and tell each other when you make each other happy, yell and tell each other when you’ve made each other mad – don’t bottle things up and don’t go to bed angry!
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I love that!! I feel myself going in more of that direction, being together for a long time but not getting married any time soon. Thank you for sharing and congrats on getting married!! Wishing you both all the best 🙂
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Theres always much pressure from others, especially at every wedding or family gathering but I’d defo say just do what feels right for you! If you plan to be together forever whats the rush in doing everything in the beginning 🙂
Thank You and congrats on 2 years 🙂
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#6!! It really is, I’ve met so many men who are just not satisfied & I totally understand why.
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5 years (wowza).
I think my advice is to always surprise your partner. Never let them in on everything about you. Let then still discover you and find new things about you. I just found out about two weeks ago that my guy loves Godzilla as much as I do. Also you interests may not be the same but you need to put time towards what they enjoy as much as they put time towards what you enjoy. The first year of the relationship we were always doing what I wanted to do and I never noticed how much time he was giving up on things he liked to do.
Also your partner can’t read your mind. You’re better off just stating how you feel about something because it will help compromise and discussions.
Also just because you’re tired and have done more doesn’t mean your partner isn’t also tired. You can’t get upset when they don’t do something because they are also tired.
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Great point about interests! Most of my interests are ones we share together, but I rarely partake in any of his interests and it’s definitely something I need to work on.
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Social media makes it seem like couples don’t go through difficult times. My partner and I bicker at least 10 times a week lol.
Also, I have chosen to be open about some of our relationship imperfections on my blog as well (https://lightbetweenus.wordpress.com/)
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Same!! Thanks for sharing, I will check it out 🙂
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We just had our one year anniversary last month. The piece of advice I can offer from my own relationship is to keep being the person you were when you caught their attention. Yes, obviously I don’t mean behave like you are single but keep that vibe of you. Becoming too much about anything or anyone is not healthy. Stay you . And let them be them. After all those two separate people are the ones who fell in love.
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Very good advice! It becomes way too easy to get overly attached, I spend most of my time with my boyfriend that now I feel like it’s weird when we’re apart. But when we first started dating all I wanted was alone time, and that’s healthy! It’s a good reminder to stay true to yourself.
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