I Don’t Believe In Soulmates

My high school boyfriend and I once laid in the grass on a baseball field at night looking up at the stars and he told me I was his soulmate…..gag.

I don’t believe in there being only one person out there for you. That there is one person that your soul is destined for and you better find them or you’re just screwed.

I am very happy in the relationship I’m in, but if for some reason we broke up, I’d be able to move on. I could get someone to date me – but they might not necessarily be right for me.

Because what are the chances that my soulmate was waiting for me right here in New Jersey where I’ve been here all along? That out of allllll the people in the world, your soulmate was just right in front of you at your gym, your college, your high school. There are so many people in the world, so many people that could be a good potential match for you.

But if you find someone you like, who you have common interests with, who treats you right and is in the right place at the right time – you can make them your soulmate. The gods didn’t put you together, there is no invisible string in the universe that attaches you. We make it work with the people that work. Timing, effort, and compatibility are extremely important when it comes to the person you’re going to spend your life with. It’s not fate, you just met someone who you enjoy spending time with and you fought to stay with them.

I don’t believe in soulmates, but I believe in love. I believe that if it’s meant to be, it will be and if it doesn’t work out, there’s probably a good reason for it. Do you believe in soulmates?

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34 thoughts on “I Don’t Believe In Soulmates

  1. I believe in soulmates. I believe we’re meant for only one person unless a spouse dies, then we get a second chance. I have wondered if my wife and I are right for each other. But we have been married 13 years and we intend to make it work.

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  2. I didn’t. Until I met my wife. I don’t know, man. There’s just…..something. Feels so right. Natural. There’s an ease to us that I’d never encountered before. Never a consideration of anything else. It’s tangible, yet unnoticeable, if that makes any sense. Call it whatever you want. But it’s something.

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  3. Good read. If anything maybe we are meant to have more than one soulmate. They don’t always have to be lovers, but friends too. I believe there are certain souls that touch us on a much deeper level, giving us a feeling we can’t quite explain.

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  4. I wrote about my thoughts on soulmates a couple years back… https://bexoxoblog.wordpress.com/2017/01/02/soulmate-vs-red-string-of-fate/
    I’m a romantic, but like you my ex believed we were soulmates (and I did too), and well, he’s now my ex. I love the red string theory though. Do I really believe in it- my romantic side does, sure, but like you, I feel like you can fall in love with anyone if you spend enough time with them. 🙂

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    1. Loved it! Maybe love and soul mates are just completely different, someone else mentioned having a soulmate in a friend and maybe my ex was a soulmate in the idea that he and I had a special soul connection, but not the right kind to be together forever.

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  5. It depends what you mean by a soulmate, I admit I find it cringey. I think love exists, I’m not sure. But I think this is something we don’t understand except that there are being in this universe that are meant to be together.

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  6. I think my boyfriend is my soulmate, but I don’t think we’re constricted to only having one soulmate. People come into your lives for different reasons and to teach different lessons, so, in my opinion, there’s no way that one person could round you into the person you are or the person you need to be. Not all soulmates are romantic… Soulmates can be platonic, as well.

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  7. Awesome read! I’ve always thought that we have multiple soulmates for a variety of reasons. Like I consider my two best girl friends my soul mates. But I also believed that a recent ex was my soul mate. They each serve a very important, very different purpose in my life and for that I believe they are all my soulmates, but there may be another waiting around the corner for me. Who knows really? To each their own.

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  8. I don’t believe in soulmates. Instead, I believe that people have temperaments that go well with other temperaments. I’ve dated people in the past that I think I was compatible with, but not as compatible as I am with my husband. I guess I take more of a psychological approach – some personality types pair well with others.

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  9. I don’t believe in soulmates but I do believe in your person being in another place. Like for all I know, the person I’m destined to be with is in Texas or something right now. Who knows if I’ll ever meet that person but I’d like to find someone who’s compatible with me. With my ex, I was dumb enough to think we’d be together forever just because he told me once that he wanted to marry me, but we ended up breaking up (well, he broke up with me in a text message). I’m not really actively looking for anyone right now but I would like to find someone eventually.

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    1. Right?! What are the chances that your person is like right in the same town as you, just waiting for you? It definitely takes time and patience to start dating again and find someone right for you, I don’t think it’s fate.

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  10. I do believe in soulmates, Rosie. Like you said, “But if you find someone you like, who you have common interests with, who treats you right and is in the right place at the right time – you can make them your soulmate.” That’s exactly what I think and I think you meet that person because you’re supposed to.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I believe in soulmates. But I also believe there is more than just one. It doesn’t have to be your love partner, it can also be a close friend, or a friend on the other side of the world you never see but share your thoughts with all the time. You can also outgrow some of your past soulmates. But they are important to us at some point in our life.

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  12. I dance on the line between believing in soulmates and not nowadays. I believe that there is someone out there for everyone, but I also feel like there can be different types of soulmates. Just like there are different forms of love you know. I agree though, that if it’s meant to be it will be. And that in some cases after enough time you can feel the same feelings with someone else.

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  13. I believe in soul mates but not in the typical style of that phrase. I believe there are many many many many (Is that enough many’s? no? One more? OK) MANY soul matches for each of us. Our soul being the essence of who we are. Our very being on getting to know someone and finding that we quite simply “fit” each other well. That’s the soul match I believe. It’s not always about sex or romantic love either. One can find a soul mate in a friend too. Nice article, great food for thought.

    Liked by 1 person

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