How Past Relationships Held Me Back

I’ve always felt held back by the people I’ve dated in the past. I think a lot of my relationships ended abruptly, they left me without closure.

Because sometimes I ended things fast because I wasn’t ready for anything serious. And sometimes I was strung along without any explanation at all and then left for dead after the break up.

I tried my best to not let those things affect me, but they always have. Those things put my love life in slow motion. When I finally found someone I wanted to date, I had to make all the first moves because when someone else did it I’d get scared and run away. It took a while to make things official, to even convince myself this was 100% what I wanted.

And even now as we live together I get so many pangs of not knowing what I want in life.

Recently I’ve heard that one of my exes has moved on…I don’t keep tabs on them at all because the more distance I put between me and them helped me feel better. But the news made me realize I’m ready to move on too.

You know when you hear about an ex getting engaged, married, having kids and you just feel mad? I used to feel that way a lot. Like I’m the one who put so much time and effort into you only for you to crush me and use your brand new self on someone so much less deserving than me. Yeah, I was bitter.

But after this recent news, a lot of things became much more clear to me. I don’t care about my exes. I don’t care about them one bit. I still think of them from time to time, but it’s almost like hearing my ex moved on set me straight. A lot of my doubts have faded and I’ve finally cut the strings my exes tied to me.

I feel better, I feel happy, and I feel certain.

couple holding hands love people
Photo by Life Of Pix on Pexels.com

5 thoughts on “How Past Relationships Held Me Back

  1. I loved how honest you were in this post, and you’re not alone how you used to feel about your past relationships. I think it’s only natural sometimes to feel that way towards an ex. I’m happy to hear your much more content in your relationship now (:

    Liked by 1 person

  2. When I found out my ex got married, I almost threw up, I was devastated. But I realized I didn’t care about my ex boyfriend when I recently asked myself if I had the opportunity, would I want our relationship back? and said hell no. It’s really the painful memories and wanting something he couldn’t give me that was holding me back. But to be with him? No way. Great post.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yas I’m so glad you realized that! I’ve been avoiding any information about my ex for years and when someone finally told me he was engaged I was like oh…well he still sucks but I’m happy and I would NEVER want to be engaged to him. Thanks for reading 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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