I’ll start this off by saying I haven’t met up with anyone in real life from Bumble BFF. And I’ll follow it up with saying that I hated dating and making friends is just like dating…so I hate this also.
If you’ve been following me for a few months now, you’ll know I’ve had little faith in Bumble BFF from the beginning. Trying to capture if someone will make a good friend from their photos and a few sentences on their profile is impossible. But for an introvert like me, it’s the easiest way to get myself out there.
So I tried. I swiped and widened my age range and location range to get a good group of people. I matched. I started conversations and let them be started by the other party. And they all fizzled within a couple hours. Shallow small talk makes it hard for you to actually get to know someone and if you’re anything like me, I hate texting in the first place so it’s hard to even get past that small talk.
Someone on the app told me that unless you make plans, real plans not just floating the usual “oh yeah let’s hang out.” Then you won’t actually become friends. This turned me off the app because it almost seems like you have to match someone, have a short conversation, then meet up with them immediately.
I haven’t given up completely. I didn’t delete the app from my phone. But I’ve been keeping busy on my own so it doesn’t feel like a good time anymore to try to incorporate someone else into my life.
If you have any Bumble BFF success stories, I’d love to hear them in the comments! Maybe I’ll get back to swiping one day.
Rosie Culture 
I haven’t specifically used Bumble BFF, but I’ve been going to some friend making events in my area (including friend speed dating) and I’ve definitely found that things fizzle if you don’t arrange to see each other again for some type of activity. For new friends, you have to spend time together in order to build a foundation. Even if it’s just coffee or a trip to the movies
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And I am the worst at spending time with people haha friend speed dating does sound fun though! How nice your area has things like that
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That sounds like too much work. No thanks… I’ll be your friend! It’s my birthday, so I insist you go out after work and have a drink for me. 😀
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ahh happy birthday!! ❤ I will definitely have a drink for you!
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Thank you!
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So tough to make new friends anywhere and a sort of forced friendship via the app must be even more difficult. It would be much easier if you had a hobby or interest to share and joined a group or club wouldn’t it? Not so much one-to-one.
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I’m not sure! I tend to become even more reserved in a group setting, but I’m open to trying to find some kind of club to join
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Rosie, online dating is hard. I meant my first long term on Plenty of Fish (before it was just sleazy) and we were together 4 years. My friend meant her husband their and they’re still together 5-8 years married. My other friend met her husband on E-Harmony, they’ve been married 7 years, and he’s stuck by her through cancer and too many chemo treatments, but he’s truly a keeper. My last friend met her husband of nearly 2 years on match, they have a little guy who just turned 1 years and married about 9 months before. There are success stories, but I’ve been doing this awhile now and I have some rules I go by.
I’d have to say, as soon as you feel comfortable enough meeting a guy for dinner or coffee etc on own your terms (in public), meet him b/c you will be able to tell so much more in 1 hr (often less) of meeting a person, than talking for 6 weeks. Don’t waste time chatting beyond being comfortable enough to meet them.
You can’t see a guys real mannerisms, personality, the way they treat others etc. Until you’ve met in person. You’ll, find 80 percent you can knock out of your potentials right away b/c you don’t like them, they don’t like you, or both. The other 20 percent you might see a second or third date, and half of those you won’t want to see more or vice versa. Or, you’ll find they’re just in it for sex (sometimes this is obvious right away), if you’re cool with that fine. But, if you’re lookimg for more, you’re looking for that ‘rare guy,’ not that guy who is like everyone else. You want the one who you never saw coming, and is what other guys haven’t been. Or at least someone you’re attracted to alit, have similar values, and love yo with in person.
You don’t have to meet immediately, but I recommend meeting sooner than later. Talk until your comfortable. If they creep you out after 2-3 weeks, it’s a bad sign. If you want to meet this guy and would rather bring a friend, make it casual and have 4 of you hang out, you might feel safer.
Also, remember even if you see a guy a number of times, you’re not obligated to sleep with him unless you truly want that. Many guys pressure this on the 1st date or the 3rd if there a touch more decent. But, if you want to wait 2 weeks, a month, 3 months, whatever your rule is, or if you’re waiting to see if attraction is more than that, wait.
They’re not entitled to sex b/c they date you or pay for dinner or dates. Likewise, sometimes you hit it off right away and just know for dates and otherwise that your good with them and even sex as soon as you want. There’s no hard and fast rules, but you will find after a while, meeting a guy earlier rather than later, saves a lot of wasted time. And your time is precious. Just my thoughts. :]
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Thanks! Bumble is a dating app, but Bumble BFF is for making friends which is what this is about
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Oh I see. I know the dating app Bumble l. My friend is on it too. Many sites have the ‘friend’ option vs. the dating one, not all but some. Even for making a friend, I’d say I’d want meet them
And do stuff w/ them and see if you have friendship chemistry (instead of relationship or sexual etc.). Just my thoughts, but thanks for clarifying. There’s a site/app where you can find out what’s going on in your community and make friends that way. Trying to remember the name, ‘hang out’ or something like that. It’s just more about being social in general or meeting people to hand with/ who have similar interest. Ie.) rock climbing, Hathaway yoga, cross fit, sports fans groups for different teams, chess — whatever you can think of. Good luck 🙂
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I used Bumble BFF in the fall figuring it was easier to make a friend than find a guy haha. A girl and I actually met up and went to a wine tasting but then we never talked after that. In the grand scheme of things, I can’t really remember how we left things, like who was going to contact who to do something. Maybe that’s why we haven’t talked since.
But the BFF part felt just like the dating part, and I was already discouraged from failed attempts with guys, so I eventually deleted all dating apps off my phone in the fall. I’m also wondering if anyone has success stories from using it!
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Interesting! Just recently, Bumble launched Bumble Bizz here in the Philippines (alongside the app’s release in Google Play Store Philippines.) It’s much like Bumble BFF, but with a bit of LinkedIn as it’s aimed at professionals wishing to expand their network using Bumble.
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Yes we have that too, I’ve scrolled through it before but I don’t think I’ve ever seen it be beneficial
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I personally haven’t used it but I have another friend who has met up with several chicks from the app and they seem to have good friendships. But for me I am the same way… I want the friends and I want to do stuff… but I’m busy with a kid and not always wanting to go out and do something all the time. Maybe I’m looking for friends the wrong age but even my mom friends and I have trouble meeting up.
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That’s reassuring! I haven’t heard too many stories from people who use it. I’m a pretty low maintenance friend, I just want to get drinks after work like once a month. I think most people want more than that which is why I kind of stink at this
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Exactly that’s all I need! We’d be great friends haha
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I can definitely see how the app would make it almost just as hard to actually connect with a friend. It sounds like there would be some pressure to actually get together right away as well, which is intimidating for introverts, lol.
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I hate texting, too! I think I’d be in the same boat as you if I had given this app a shot. 😛
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