Republished from 2/16/15
It’s almost inevitable that once in your life you are going to get your heart broken. It’s not just going to be like that time one high school someone didn’t like you back or that other time in college where you gave someone your number and he didn’t text you. It’s going to be real. It’s going to feel like someone stuck their hand in your chest and crushed your heart. You’re going to hate, you’re going to cry, and you’re going to try to get over it over and over again.
On the road to recovery, rebounds are a go-to way to get over someone quickly. The whole “getting over someone is getting under someone else” theory. You’ll use a few people, just because that’s how you feel. It’s not on purpose, just human nature to have someone hurting with you. Misery does in fact love company. You’ll break a few hearts, hook up with a few people you regret, and try to form feelings that you just are not capable of at the moment.
One of the worst things you can do after something like this is try to throw yourself into another vulnerable relationship. You can’t offer your heart up right after a break up, it’s not healthy and it’s not fair to the other person.
Eventually, there will be a time where you can stop feeling like everyone’s a rebound and actually start feeling. Your emotions will be hard to identify and you’ll compare everything you feel now to how you felt in your last relationship. That will only result in you shutting down the relationship before it can even start.
Start by recognizing that you, by yourself, are enough. When you reach this point (and only after you reach this point) can you let someone else into your life. When you find someone who makes you happy, you enjoy spending time with, and find yourself thinking about a lot, then you can pursue. Don’t consistently think about how happy your ex made you, how much you loved him, etc. Most of those feelings have been built up in your head over the years of your relationship and you choose to ignore the bad parts that EVERYONE will go through. You probably weren’t obsessed with your ex right away and didn’t feel the need to think about him all the time or text him all the time from the start. But that’s how it feels because you’re so blinded by the heartbreak.
Take it one step at a time, let someone in slowly, and stop comparing them to the dick that broke your heart. You don’t have to be vulnerable all at once and you shouldn’t be looking for someone or something that was your last relationship. Start over, start something new, because it makes YOU happy.