Why I Don’t Want To Be Your Girlfriend

Republished from 4/3/15

I came into college almost two years deep into a relationship that I thought was going to be the rest of my life.  I came to find, as most young people do, that forever just isn’t as long as I thought it was going to be.  I readjusted and came to realize many things.

Being alone is one of the greatest things you will ever learn in college. You only have four years and a lot of people spend them trying to find someone to spend the rest of their eighty years with.  I realized how easy it was to meet people because of this “hookup culture.” From Twitter to Tinder to going to the bar or to class or to a frat party.  There are interesting people everywhere and you don’t necessarily have to tie yourself to one person.

Although there are still double standards, women have so much power now.  I think there was a time where it was just expected that all girls were desperate for a boyfriend, but that time is far gone. We aren’t expected to be married with kids at 23. That’s all fine and dandy if that’s your dream – but our generation has the ability to do so much more.  Our careers and education are taking so much time in our life that the fantasy of being married with kids by 23 almost seems cringeworthy (at least to me).

I can barely make time to eat anything other than what I can stick in the microwave let alone spend a majority of my time texting, calling, hanging out with, and worrying about my boyfriend. I’m busy focusing on my internships, my schoolwork, all the clubs I’m involved in, social experiences, my amazing friends, and most importantly my future.  In the next ten years I don’t see myself settled at a 9-5, living in the suburbs, with 2 mini-me’s running around.  In fact, the thought of that kind of makes me shudder.

I’m sure there are plenty of people at our age who have found the one they want to be with for the rest of their lives.  They’re content and completely interested by the one that they have and that’s fine, but I’m still curious.

So I don’t want to be your girlfriend.  It’s not because I’m a bitch, it’s not because I’m heartless or incapable of commitment, and it’s not because I’m so afraid of getting my heart broken again.  It’s because I’m making time for me and all the wonderful and new things life is constantly throwing at me. And I just can’t afford to miss out on my youth right now.