I still find it hard to believe I graduated college 4 years ago, even hard to believe that I started college 8 years ago. I have a hard time reflecting back onto my middle school years and even my high school years, I tucked a lot of those memories away. I don’t think I remember them correctly at all. But I do remember the day I moved into college.
I remember what I was wearing. A black tank top, that I still own with a long necklace with a small bird age at the bottom. I tucked my blank tank top into a pair of jean shorts with a brown braided belt. I picked out the outfit especially for that day.
My boyfriend at the time drove a lot of my stuff down in his dad’s pick up truck. We unloaded it all in front of my dorm and as we waited for him to find parking, a bunch of student volunteers began to bring my stuff up for me. I remember one of them saying how smart it was that we packed in boxes.
I met my roommate, who I never had a relationship with and knew I’d never have a relationship with. My mom unpacked my clothes and, by my request, made my lofted bed. My lofted bed that was like one foot away from the ceiling, I’m not even sure how she made it because I think for the rest of the year I just threw sheets on it and called it a day. My sheets were bright pink, my comforter was black and white with a pink stripe. My towels were green. I had tons of stuffed animals, which was pretty embarrassing.
When my boyfriend left he gave me a pig pillow pet. And I cried and cried and cried. I was terrified when I moved into college. And rightfully so, because I didn’t have the best time fitting in as a freshman. I also think I knew at the time that that relationship was doomed, it never works when you’re so far away from each other and in college.
And I remember going back to my room thinking what the heck do I do now? No friends, no plans, and almost too much freedom.
Rosie Culture 
I had met my roommate during orientation. It was completely random (we sat next to each other at breakfast), but we hit it off and decided to room together.
I don’t remember the specific move, but what I do remember is that I was going to try out for the baseball team, so there were practices late in the afternoon. After the second day, I went back to my room and my roommate was gone, I didn’t have a ton of friends otherwise and I still had to go to dinner.
Right then, the homesickness hit, but once that was done, I said to myself, “Look, this is normal. It happens to everyone. It’ll be fine.” The next day, I told the baseball coach I wasn’t going to try out anymore (and even if I had made the team, I never would have played), and I never had another problem after that.
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ugh I completely remember the dread of going to dinner alone! I have one strong memory of going to the cafeteria and eating alone then joining some random freshman guys who I never saw again because I was so embarrassed lol but it did all wear off eventually
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It usually does for most people.
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It always does.
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I felt that way every year on move in day, sometimes even just after winter break. No matter how excited I was to be back I still always felt that great abyss of time and feared that something had changed and that it wouldn’t be like I remembered. It always turned out fine once I got my routine going, but I hated that “what now?” feeling right after move in
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I totally agree! I felt that way every year until the second year I lived in my sorority house – all the other years felt very lonely that first day with a big what now
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My ex and I made out long distance relationship work while we were 200 miles apart at separate colleges. It wasn’t until I moved down to be with him that things fell apart. I guess we grew apart in that year and were never really able to make it work again.
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wow! Is it possible that because you were working so hard to keep the long distance alive that you didn’t see flaws in the relationship? That must’ve been one tough break up
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I think that was a big factor, but when I moved to be with him while he was in school, he already had a set routine which didn’t include me, so any time a tried to get with him would cause tension. It also didn’t help that within the first couple of weeks of me moving down there to be with him, he divided to move back home with his parents without telling me, so I was in a strange city 200 miles away from my friends and family, alone. His response to that one: “I didn’t ask you to move down there.” And at that point, we had been together for 6 years…
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wow he just sucks I don’t even know what else to say!!
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Yup. Dodged a bullet with that one.
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I just moved into college. Finishing up my first fall semester on Friday. Over the time being here, my roommate has made friends and now no longer is my roommate, my friends live across campus, and being at this point its like I am just a spectator too my own life. Its scary being alone and away from home, I feel like the time I spend here could be spent with my dog at home, and that might be the part where people say college isn’t for everyone. But it seems like everyone is doing college, at least the people I went too high school with, and I finished this semester and I keep telling myself I am doing it. I am doing it successfully like my grades are better than high school, but I just cannot get a grip on living alone, not in my house, that I have lived in not ever moving once for the first 18 years of my life. First night my parents stayed at a hotel nearby, second day they left and I immediately was crying. And then I realized I only have my friends, but then after the first week, I realized I don’t even have them. And then it is now three months in and the only thing I feel I have successfully done is get 13 credits. In GUR classes. Idk i dont think college is for me but im here and doing it and grateful for the opportnity even if I kill myself trying too get thru it.
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Hi, sorry for the late reply, your comment got stuck in my spam box! My first year of college was unbelievably hard and while it seems like so many people get along okay, that’s just a show most of the time. I know tons of people who transferred closer to home and were more comfortable then. I would encourage you to talk to your parents or a counselor about the stress you feel, you’re definitely not alone.
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