I still find it hard to believe I graduated college 4 years ago, even hard to believe that I started college 8 years ago. I have a hard time reflecting back onto my middle school years and even my high school years, I tucked a lot of those memories away. I don’t think I remember them correctly at all. But I do remember the day I moved into college.
I remember what I was wearing. A black tank top, that I still own with a long necklace with a small bird age at the bottom. I tucked my blank tank top into a pair of jean shorts with a brown braided belt. I picked out the outfit especially for that day.
My boyfriend at the time drove a lot of my stuff down in his dad’s pick up truck. We unloaded it all in front of my dorm and as we waited for him to find parking, a bunch of student volunteers began to bring my stuff up for me. I remember one of them saying how smart it was that we packed in boxes.
I met my roommate, who I never had a relationship with and knew I’d never have a relationship with. My mom unpacked my clothes and, by my request, made my lofted bed. My lofted bed that was like one foot away from the ceiling, I’m not even sure how she made it because I think for the rest of the year I just threw sheets on it and called it a day. My sheets were bright pink, my comforter was black and white with a pink stripe. My towels were green. I had tons of stuffed animals, which was pretty embarrassing.
When my boyfriend left he gave me a pig pillow pet. And I cried and cried and cried. I was terrified when I moved into college. And rightfully so, because I didn’t have the best time fitting in as a freshman. I also think I knew at the time that that relationship was doomed, it never works when you’re so far away from each other and in college.
And I remember going back to my room thinking what the heck do I do now? No friends, no plans, and almost too much freedom.