I’m an overthinker which sometimes leads to me being stuck in this rut of confusion because I can’t comprehend life. I can’t comprehend death. I just don’t get it.
As yesterday was 9/11, I read this article. And watched a video that included a lot of audio from the day. The correspondence from plane to airports, voicemails left from the planes and the towers. All of it completely gutted me. I read the article because it explained a little how I was feeling. I just don’t get it.
How rescheduling your flight may have caused your death. Ironing your shirt saved your life. It’s all so hard to comprehend.
And sometimes I think about how I got to where I am at all. All the randomness and choices that I brushed off as mundane that actually changed the course of my life. I originally had all my sights set on going to college in North Carolina, but last minute stayed in New Jersey and had the time of my life. I took the job I have over three years ago and never thought it would land me in New Hampshire. My boyfriend and I had plans to go to a night market last year and decided not to go because we were tired. There was a shooting there that weekend.
Every tiny decision could change your life, but it’s all just so random. You are here one minute. You are gone and just not a breathing or thinking person anymore the next. Why try to sit here and understand it? It’s just how my brain works and yes, it keeps me up at night.
Rosie Culture 
Wow! yeah, you never know. I just lost a friend on Labor Day. He died hiking on a trail in Malibu of overexposure and heat exhaustion. And he was experienced.
I was listening to that audio also… chilling. I just find it hard to believe our own military couldn’t intercept the planes, and we supposedly have the strongest military presence worldwide. Just doesn’t make sense to me.
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I’m so sorry to hear about your friend. When something tragic happens it always seems so unnecessary and a lot of times preventable, that’s what always gets me so messed up
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I think about this often and whenever my mind goes to these thoughts, it actually helps to put things into perspective. When I’m stressing about stupid, trivial things, I think, “I could die tomorrow. This isn’t important.” I know it’s sounds overly dramatic but it’s true. Life is random and unpredictable. Even the healthiest, youngest person could get into a fatal car accident.
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I get it. I really do. A simple delay can extend or end your life. There will always be a randomness to everything we do. Think of it as part of the ingredients that goes into life. Not just our life but all life. That one word – Random – is a tiny piece of the puzzle that makes up who we are. I hate it but it’s not going anywhere.
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I’m a classic overthinker too. I assume people just think I’m quiet but my thoughts are just running a million miles a minute. That is why I blog, so I can just get a few of them out there. Crazy how you just avoided a shooting!
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Me too! I really use my blog just to get out all the things that are driving me crazy lol but yea the randomness of it all is insane, I knew a coworker who was going to that same event and had to text him the next day to make sure he was okay. Chilling.
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Every year I have watched the documentary “The Falling Man” and sit there and cry at how awful that day was and I still can’t make sense of what happened that day. It’s really awful xxx
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I’ve never seen the documentary, but the picture really gives me the chills
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It’s a good documentary, but so sad. The picture still gives me the chills too xxx
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