Republished from 6/13/15
We are sometimes called the “hookup culture” because of our lack of commitment. We kiss first, ask questions wayyyyyy later. Relationships aren’t exactly what we’re looking for right now and one reason behind this is because we are always speed dating.
Not literally, we don’t move from chair to chair at a long table filled with eligible singles. We don’t ask them their name, age, occupation, etc. then move to the next one. We do scan people quickly, though. We analyze them off of looks first and then if we get a chance to dive a little deeper, all of their superficial criteria.
Our generation has the ability to do this off of a variety of venues. It could be in person, from near or far. It could be through social media or dating websites. It could be through texting, phone calls, or webcams. We have the ability to meet thousands of people at our fingertips.
When you see someone afar at the beach, you judge them on their looks, the way they act with their friends, their demeanor. Based off of that – you could choose to spark communication or drop it.
When someone buys you a drink at the bar, they tell you their major, hometown, maybe some hobbies. You get a good glimpse of their drunk self and their appearance. Based off of that – you could take the drink and continue the conversation or walk away.
When you add someone on Facebook, follow them on Twitter, or follow them on Instagram you get to see their friends, their thoughts, and what they look like in different atmospheres. Based off of that (and never meeting them) you could choose to send them a message or slide into their dm’s.
We can swipe right on Tinder based off of looks, interests, and mutual friends. We can get matched on dating websites we pay for based off of our personalities.
And when we do choose to further communication – it’s mostly going to be through texting just because it’s the most convenient. You can choose to end it even easier because all it takes is a few unanswered text messages.
It’s hard to date in a culture where we’re always meeting new people and ultimately, always speed dating. On one hand, it’s great that we get to meet so many new people! On the other hand, how are we ever going to know who is the one?
Rosie Culture 
Don’t you feel that like-minded quality people stand out to each other even through this “speed dating?”
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of course! I just feel that because we are consistently meeting new people, we find more than one person who is like us so it makes it harder to know what it’s like to find “the one”
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This is so accurate!
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The only way you can truly know if someone is right for you is by spending a lot of time with them in diverse settings. Its easy to put on one’s best face on a first date, in a good quality restaurant but how does that person behave when they have had a bad day? Do they take it out on you? If someone occasionally behaves badly one can forgive them for, after all none of us are plaster saints and we all, at times do things we shouldn’t. But, if someone is frequently taking it out on you this is a bad sign. Texting is fine for saying “i’m running late” but not great for expressing deep emotion/getting to know someone. For that you need to spend time together. Kevin
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Time. Oh, and time.
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Or you’re like me and stay at home so you don’t have to deal with people… 🙂
The closest thing to speed dating I’ve ever done was speed dating for jobs, but there were so many ‘daters’ looking for a job compared to employers, so we ‘dated’ the employers with competition. We only had 10 minutes with each employer to make an impression and hope they didn’t like your opponent. It was one of the most stressful nights of my entire life!
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At home is the worst place speed dating can occur because of all the dating apps! But that seriously sounds horrible yikes
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So true Rosie. Meeting so many new people constantly is interesting and potentially exciting but the majority of those relationships have absolutely no depth and remain very shallow. I guess it hasn’t changed from pre-smartphone, pre-internet times though. You still need to put time and effort in if you want to really get to know someone.
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Definitely! It’s tough because it gives you the idea there’s a lot more out there, but a deep connection is really hard to find
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