I have to actively remind myself that the things I harp on and can’t get over, the things that embarrass me, don’t mean anything to anyone else as much as they mean to me. There are a few pivotal moments in my life that I kind of wish I could forget, but I feel like have stuck with me as lessons or just have warmed up to better memories. But I kind of wish I could forget…
I started writing a list of the things I wish I could forget and then was snapped into how superficial it all seemed. A lot of it had to do with boys. The time a boy made me cry in the hallway in high school, telling a boy who had no regards for my feelings that I loved and cared about him, making out with a boy at the bar (cringe).
And then I tried to think of things that happened with my ex because I held on to so much anger from that relationship and I could barely think of anything (except that time I texted my sister for his number in the middle of the night and pretended I butt dialed him – oops).
While writing a list, many of these things actually seemed pretty small. They really didn’t seem to matter anymore. I even looked back at this blog post and barely remembered the two embarrassing moments I had written about in there.
And while my embarrassing lessons haven’t all sunk in yet (will I ever realize my alcohol limit?), no one really remembers them except me. Even the moments that involved other parties, I doubt they care about it as much as I do/did. Time heals all wounds and sometimes, when the wounds are fresh, time feels so slow.
But I’ve forgotten a lot of the bad things now and I can do it again in the future.