Break ups are hard no matter what. No matter if you’re staying friends, are now mortal enemies, have only been dating a few months, or a few years.
They’re especially tough if you’ve started getting fully invested in each other’s lives. If his friends are now your friends or if you’ve basically been adopted into the family. I’ve heard from a lot of people about this and I’ve experienced it myself. I became really close with certain people in my ex’s life including his nieces and nephews. It was tough to make the break from them as well as the relationship. I was now cutting ties from family.
My sister once dated someone who we all kind of saw as a sibling eventually. I remember he bought me a cd for one of my teenage birthdays and I remember seeing him years after they broke up and it feeling like seeing a long lost cousin. I know their break up was hard and I know my family made it harder. Because we had already adopted him as our own, but it wasn’t really our choice as to whether he would be around anymore.
It’s the same with the kind of friends who become family. If my boyfriend and I broke up, I’d be saying goodbye to a lot of his friends who became my friends. They are people who openly invited me to vacations and friendsgivings. They are people I interact with almost every week. But they wouldn’t be mine to keep.
Break ups are hard, but the more intertwined you become in someone else’s life, the more break ups you actually have to endure when the relationship is ending.