Break ups are hard no matter what. No matter if you’re staying friends, are now mortal enemies, have only been dating a few months, or a few years.
They’re especially tough if you’ve started getting fully invested in each other’s lives. If his friends are now your friends or if you’ve basically been adopted into the family. I’ve heard from a lot of people about this and I’ve experienced it myself. I became really close with certain people in my ex’s life including his nieces and nephews. It was tough to make the break from them as well as the relationship. I was now cutting ties from family.
My sister once dated someone who we all kind of saw as a sibling eventually. I remember he bought me a cd for one of my teenage birthdays and I remember seeing him years after they broke up and it feeling like seeing a long lost cousin. I know their break up was hard and I know my family made it harder. Because we had already adopted him as our own, but it wasn’t really our choice as to whether he would be around anymore.
It’s the same with the kind of friends who become family. If my boyfriend and I broke up, I’d be saying goodbye to a lot of his friends who became my friends. They are people who openly invited me to vacations and friendsgivings. They are people I interact with almost every week. But they wouldn’t be mine to keep.
Break ups are hard, but the more intertwined you become in someone else’s life, the more break ups you actually have to endure when the relationship is ending.
Rosie Culture 
That is… if you have healthy, functioning relationships with your significant other’s family. My ex’s family tolerated me, but would talk bad about me behind my back. Particularly my ex’s mom. She thought I was a bad influence on her youngest son and treated me accordingly. To give you an idea of her feelings towards me, she gave me dishtowels as a Christmas present one year…Not being involved with my ex simply for the fact that I never have to deal with that woman is the biggest blessing ever.
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lollll I have to laugh because most of my ex’s family hated me too. His parents were straight up cruel to me the first year of our relationship, they had reasons to be upset but not to the extent of how they treated me. When I started dating my boyfriend now I was like thank god you have a normal and welcoming family
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It sounds pretty tough to handle especially if they’ve accepted you into their family. I’ve never had a break up with anyone so can’t appreciate the difficulty.
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I once said to my fiance that I’d miss his mom more than him if we ever broke up. I was only half joking. This post reminds me of what happened when my younger sister broke up with her bf of three years. He was around all the time. My little cousin, who was only 4 at the time of their breakup, looked at Keith as a part of the family. He basically couldn’t remember a time in his life when Keith wasn’t around. When they broke up, it took awhile for my cousin to realize that Keith wasn’t gonna come around anymore. He’d always ask my sister where Keith was. The longer you’re with someone, the more entwined in the other’s lives you become. You really do lose a whole new group of friends and family.
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Ah it’s the toughest with the little kids I think. It’s a very sad situation
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A few years back a good friend of mine divorced but that didn’t stop her parents from communicating with him. It was the damnest thing. He would go over when she wasn’t around. He was like a son to them. She knew all about it and respected it but to avoid tension she made sure she stayed away while he was over.
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I’m glad she was able to respect it! I feel like that was probably a hard thing to do for her
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It probably was. I had a lot of respect for her when she did that. I don’t know if I could have done it.
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I’ve never really been that intertwined with an ex but when boyfriend & I first started dating, he had just broken up with HIS ex & he was super involved with her family. His little sister messaged him so much, saying she missed him, etc. to the point he had to block her!
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Ugh that’s so sad! I totally get why he had to block her, it’s just impossible to stay in touch like that after a break up. Hurts less to just cut the ties.
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