Making The First Move

Guys deserve a lot of credit for making the first move.  It’s just what is expected in society, that guys will approach a girl first. They’ll ask for their number and have to make the phone call. They ask her to dance or out on a date. It’s mostly all up to the guy to move something forward.

That takes a lot of guts.  You are pushing all of your insecurities behind a mask to make a good impression on someone.  And if they don’t like you? Was it your hair, did you smell, did you say the wrong thing? You’re putting your whole self esteem on the line.  Girls can be too fragile to do something like that (unless we’re drunk) because we are constantly being shamed by society. I can’t even imagine all the thoughts and emotions that would flood a girl’s head after being rejected when making the first move. I’m sure guys experience a whole lot of emotions and thoughts too, so like I said, I give them credit.

I don’t know if that’s something we should take entirely personally. Sure, someone is making a snap judgement on you but there are so many variables that could be put into place.  The person you’re hitting on could be in a relationship, they could be in a tough place in their life, they could forget you met, they could just not feel the vibes, or you’re not their type.  There are so many reasons not to take rejection personally.  Therefore, I think we should all put our hearts on the line a little more often.

As a girl, I have on many occasions bought someone a drink or told them they were cute to get them to come talk to me. Many of these times were promoted by liquid courage, but it’s something I would like to be able to accomplish sober. Why should it bother me that someone didn’t like me?  I don’t like everyone I meet either.   They say if you never try then you’ll never succeed – so give it a shot and make the first move.

4 thoughts on “Making The First Move

  1. I don’t know that I would call it guts when guys approach women. Many of them are just driven by hormones and their nether regions. If they actually like the girl, now that’s a different story.

    As for me, I have approached guys I liked myself. I’ve never been rejected. I think the “trick” is to make a neutral proposal. People kid themselves believing they always know if they want to date someone based on a first impression, so I would strike up a conversation and then suggest that we keep in touch and hang out. Then, it became his turn to make the next move if he was interested and disappear if he was not. 10 for 10 they always got back to me.

    I only ever responded positively to that approach from guys as well. The guys who came up and started a conversation about the book I was reading or the hiking trail etc got my attention. The ones who walked over at a bar to buy me a drink or tell me I was beautiful all got shunned.

    Liked by 1 person

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