This new year will be a new decade. It’s crazy to think that the year 2000 was 20 years ago. In the moment I feel like time passes so slow, but looking back I can’t even remember who I was a decade ago.
A decade ago I was 16, it was a pretty shitty time. I struggled hard with high school and everything that came with it. I started rejecting my faith and turning to music for all of my solace. I barely got along with any of my family and I had really terrible friends that felt like they could fall apart at any moment.
At 16 I started dating someone who was 5 years older. At the time it seemed cool to be dating an older guy. I didn’t do well in classes, I didn’t even try. I started working part time at a movie theater and made some better friends even though I hated the job.
Now at 26, I try not to think back to that depressing time in my life. When I was a teenager I just kept telling myself that everything would be better if I could just make it out of high school. Luckily I was right. I always knew that I was more than I was, could be more, maybe even was more mature than most people my age.
And although I’ve never regained my faith, music is still there for me. In college I made friends who stand by me today. My family and I are close and there are constant additions welcomed with open arms.
I learned that my relationship back then could now be called grooming. It was manipulative. It set me up for failure and depression, but I grew through it. I did better in classes in college, I got internships every year. Then I graduated and got a job, then another job, and then a promotion.
Life changes so fast and I’m not always happy. I’m often very reflective and even sad. But I am always grateful that I made it through that period in my life, through this decade. When I was a teen it felt like everything was working against me. In college I was always working against myself.
Now I’m working towards something. Working with people, accepting help. Hold on through the tough times, you never know what a decade’s difference will make.