How I Thought I Had To Be To Get A Boy’s Attention

When we think back to being young we often think of the great times.  We think about how we were worry free for so long, how life was filled with ignorant bliss and simple happiness.  Most of us choose to forget the part of being young that meant being really weird and awkward…

For me, sixth grade was when getting a boyfriend was really important.  Not like an actual boyfriend, just someone you called your boyfriend and held hands with and wrote about in your AIM profile – “K.M. ilysm always and forever &<3;“. I know it’s different for kids now, the importance of getting attention from the opposite sex starts at a much younger age and their definition of boyfriend goes way past mine from when I was young.  But from sixth grade on, getting attention from boys was a top priority.

Through social media, television, movies, magazines, my friends, my older siblings, etc; I had formed an idea in my mind of what I had to do to get boys to like me.  It was really that important and as a lanky (and transitioning into the opposite of lanky) 13 year old girl I thought I needed to be a certain way for boys to like me.  The way all of the popular girls got the boys to like them.  Looking back, they probably had the same idea as me – they just knew how to execute it better.  They also didn’t have braces and a love for Avril Lavigne that was made apparent through clothing choices.

This is something that inflicted my young and naive self, but still impacts women my age and older to this day.  We want to please everyone by trying to imitate what the media portrays as desirable such as being:

1. Vulnerable

As a middle schooler, there had to be some sort of sadness and complexity to me that I could open up about.  Even though I was 13 and my main problem was really the fact that my orthodontist was mean to me.

2. Clumsy

I always see this on the media. Boys just fall in love with the girl that is tripping over her own feet, that always needs to be saved.

3. Innocent/shy

The girl that was too loud and overbearing didn’t seem desirable, she had way too much going on for a guy to want to deal with.

4. Skinny/always done up

I think I’ve been wearing make up since the end of 5th grade when I clearly didn’t need it and probably would’ve looked better without the blue eye shadow.

5. Unique but not weird

This was so hard – you had to be different enough from the polo wearing posse to get noticed, but if you were too different you could forget about anyone ever taking you seriously.

Girls to this day – ages 8, 13, 18, 25, 45, and up – still want to be what boys want them to be.  They forget their sense of self just because they’re single and aren’t getting a lot of attention.

I still find myself being guilty of it, trying to seem like someone I’m not just to reel someone in for a little while.  Self love can be preached every hour of every day, but so many people believe you need someone to love you in order to love yourself. In reality, being yourself is what is going to get boys to like you.  At least the ones that matter.