Accepting Break Up Blame

I don’t like my exes, not a single one of them. My relationships/spurts of dating/long-time hook ups ended poorly often. I might’ve not liked them even before we broke up. Sometimes I stopped liking them during the break up process. Other times, we were friendly for a while, but I ultimately stopped liking them. Mostly due to resentment over any mistrust, being cheated on, or just seeing them be happy when they didn’t let me be happy or caused me to be unhappy for a while.

You may think that because I don’t like them, it probably means they did something wrong. And that’s true, but the bad blood doesn’t fall all on them. As much as I’d like to sit here and play victim, I wasn’t always innocent.

I didn’t cheat, I didn’t intentionally try to hurt people, but I did let things go on longer than they should’ve. I did put a lot of time into things I knew weren’t going to work, did act one way and say the opposite.

I accept some of the break up blame. In most cases, I did the breaking up because I either recognized my faults in the relationship or the guy I was dating at the time did something to screw everything up.

I’ve written a lot about my exes, I’ve written a lot about how much I resent them and how far I’ve come since them. But I’ve shrugged off a lot of the blame until now. I might’ve not been the problem that caused us to break up, but I was part of the problem. All I can do now is move on and grow from it and wish them all the best of luck.

21 thoughts on “Accepting Break Up Blame

  1. oh…my…I’m so sorry to hear about guys in your life.

    See, this generation today is really screwed up.

    I don’t understand how come guys don’t treat you well, care for you, or love you. You are the most beautiful person and if I was in those guys shoes I’d treat you with respect and make you feel happy.

    Whatever, these guys did that made you lose trust in them. I don’t blame you. Guys today don’t know what they want. They can’t see what’s in front of them and can’t appreciate that special person.

    Again, this is my opinion on the matter and what I gathered from what you wrote here.

    Hope this made you feel a little better.

    In the past, what was your longest relationship?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Luckily, not all guys are like that – just a select few! Every generation has their flawed people amongst the good ones. In the past, my longest relationship was 4 years. Thank you for commenting, I was lucky to move on from that part of my past and grow from it šŸ™‚

      Liked by 2 people

      1. It’s hard & rare to find that one person who is not like all others.

        4 years wow!

        What’s your ideal of a relationship? Does that guy need to be perfect? or more like in a balance of both good and bad boy type? I know this generation has a thing for bad boys with tattoos and a fashion sense of looking like everyone else.

        You welcome…I’m glad your moving forward and learning from past experiences and hopefully be extremely careful on who you invite in your life and hope this next guy you meet, treats you well and loves you. šŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve had my fair share of break ups with exes, but each experience has taught me something about myself, even if it’s knowing what I don’t want in a relationship. This is very insightful…as always šŸ˜Š

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m totally with you on this one! I don’t see how anyone is truly close friends with their exes. If everything had gone smoothly with my exes, we wouldn’t have broken up. I’m glad you wrote this piece!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Some people come in your life to help you learn something and then they move on. It’s okay to not be friends with all the people you shared a part of your journey with. Just take the lessons you needed from the relationship and move on.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. It’s a good place to get to. I always ended up being friends with my exe’s so I wasn’t exactly in your position. I think my problem is holding on to the good of it and the what ifs if it worked out. I also let a lot of them go on longer then they should have and sometimes even overlapped correspondence with boys . Eeek! But yeah, I find thinking that it just wasn’t supposed to work out no matter where the blame goes or fits, helps to let them go and be on their/your way. Because essentially, you’re letting yourself think about them and mull over- almost like a weight. Afterall, they’re somewhat winning if you’re still tied down with the blame bubble– no matter where it floats šŸ˜‰ Pop that!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Totally understandable. Sometimes I think that would be healthier for me. Well I’m speaking as if I still have my exes in my life. I don’t anymore. I’ve transitioned into this space where I’m ok and not even wanting them in my life so that I can focus and get the attention solely from my significant other.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Relationships, relationships, relationships….sigh…
    They are the most difficult thing we do, aren’t they?
    There is something about cheating that is always wrong – and having been on both sides of that ugly decision, it has no good quality to build upon – not one.
    For me, I have been in exactly 2 serious relationships, but I have had my fair share of flings, but I am not connected to any of my exes…not one…Granted, I can maintain a friendly attitude, but I don’t believe having any kind of relationship[ with any of them would be good for anyone involved. It is what it is.


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