The Pressure Of Long Term Relationships

My first serious relationship was 4 years long and when I say serious, I took it very seriously. I pictured marriage and kids. Planned where we’d live, where I’d go to college, and how our lives would be.

At that point in my life, I would frequently say “why bother being in a relationship with someone if you don’t think you’ll get married?” And that was at age 18 ish.

But I can now tell you I was wrong. Because relationships are learning experiences, sometimes it takes 2 seconds to know you don’t like someone and sometimes it takes 2 years. Why should we stop ourselves from diving into love just because we don’t know how serious it will be, how long it will last, or if we’ll get married?

Long term relationships can really apply that pressure especially when you’re in your mid-late twenties where everyone is starting to get engaged and married. It makes you think that the longer the relationship goes on, the harder a break up could be. Just because you’ve been together for someone for three years, does that mean you’ll marry them?

And if you don’t end up marrying them, did you waste your own time or theirs? Is it unfair to be in a relationship if you’re not sure you see marriage down the line?

As always, I preach communication with your partner because it’s honestly something they should know so they can decide for themselves the risks they are taking. Obviously every relationship doesn’t end in marriage, the one I thought that would ended in lots of tiny pieces set on fire. So you can’t base anything off of if you’ll be spending the rest of your life together, you just have to enjoy the time you’re spending together now.

18 thoughts on “The Pressure Of Long Term Relationships

  1. I can relate. I was in a 3 year marriage that crashed and burned. I thought we were forever, but nope. Truth is, I learned so much from that relationship that this new one I’m in now, is flourishing. Sometimes, we have to go through those bad things to get to the good ones. Nice post!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. There are ancient Egyptian proverb
    In addition to Goldsmith, live your life very differently than if your neighbor is a blacksmith.
    Love is not modern the life God has given it to us in us we have that remains well we don’t have it, keep looking.. I wish you all the best!!!!!

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  3. I agree with this! I’m currently in a relationship and I feel like it’s for the long term but i know people change over time and there’s no way to predict who we both will be in 10 years time x

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  4. I don’t think you can only be with someone if you see marriage down the line – some people need time to feel that way. I do think that if you know you’re with someone you don’t wanna marry – you should’t be together, though.

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    1. If you don’t see marriage, I definitely think it’s best to just tell your partner that because I guess minds could change or maybe both would just like to continue letting the relationship run its course? It’s all on a case to case basis for that part

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  5. Haha it’s so relatable. Your opening statement! And i am able to laugh at it now. At the age of 25 and after four failed relationships (4,3,1 years and one for just 2 months) and few one sided love attractions. Finally, I am able to see clearly for myself. In fact that’s what i am writing about now. Hope you’ll take time out to read it and let me know what you think.

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  6. Interesting post. I totally agree with you in that relationships are about the here and now and you should never look too far ahead. Just enjoy today and things will take you where they take you. not worth worrying about or even wishing for.

    Liked by 1 person

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